I’m approaching 50 myself, not for a few more years but soon enough that it’s on the horizon. I’ve been putting off trying to date because “there’s just no time”. Now I’m coming to realize there will probably never be time unless I cut out other parts of my life for it.
If I were younger I might go for that, but I feel like dating and all that just is not important enough anymore to be worth it. I’d rather do anything than try to date (I imagine this is also why I put it off for so long).
Have any of you been in a similar situation? What did you end up choosing?
19 comments
I know this is off topic but… WHAT? I have many questions.
Too busy with work? Are you a 50yo virgin? Are you asexual? Not even a casual relationship? Friends with benefits? Nothing?
the fuck?
No offense but what were you doing in high school and in your 20s when you were younger and hornier due to hormones? Maybe you’re asexual or extremely depressed?
I got out of a marriage at age 49.
Dating was a fucking smorgasboard of ass and pussy.
Women in that age group who are single are really really ready to settle down and know what to do to please a man.
DON’T DO ONLINE DATING AND APPS THEY ARE FOR FREAKS AND LOSERS.
Just join some local Meetup groups, for activities you like. You are going to find that dating is super easy at your age.
I am not the target of your question. But how can you say it’s not worth it when you have literally never experienced it? You don’t even know what you are missing. Maybe you will be thinking why have I left this part intentionally out of my life for so long – after experiencing it.
There’s a reason pretty much everyone in the world is longing for love. Companionship. Cuddling, sex.
It’s okay if you find out you don’t really want it afterall, but atleast give it a proper try.
Seeing your comments it feels like you’ve really missed out- sure sex is overrated, but damn, falling asleep cuddling somebody you love is possibly the greatest part of life
Wait you’ve never ever been in a relationship? Ever?
My mum and dad broke up, both in their mid 40’s. Before that he was a smoker, hated dogs and was overall very grumpy and pissed all the time. To the extend of which, i wouldnt even wanna visit him because it always ended in yelling at each other. Basically, he was very unhappy with his life.
And then .. he was single again and started the dating. Within just a few months, and a couple of hook ups he quit smoking, took more care of himself, traveled a lot (which he hadnt done in the 2 decades before), he sold his car and uses the bike to get to work.
And then he met a woman, whom he married after just 3yrs of dating/relationship. Together they bought 2 dogs from a shelter (again he hated dogs to death), a small house, they go on vacations together and they seem to be generally very happy.
All in all i would say – DO IT! JUST DO IT! – believe it or not, but women tend to make your life better in most cases. Especially in your age, they just wanna settle and enjoy life. See the world, and chill.
Honestly bra I think you’ve missed the boat. You could still get on it hypothetically but it ain’t at the dock anymore you’re going to have to swim for it. I’m 25 and I know I’m already to old to learn the game.
I had a friend who went through life like this, PH’d with multiple post-docs, Independently wealthy from a trust fund, a bit of a curmudgeon.
He never actively dated. He would get laid often enough because women presented themselves easily to him. He was always suspicious of their motives.
Due to unhealthy life choices he blew his heart out at 60 and died.
Don’t take this as an offence, but maybe you’re gay.
Who says you need to be, or feel, or exist like the alleged “average” in this oversexualized society? Are you content with your life? It seems like you’re gauging your normalcy by the standards of those around you. Everyone does not have the urge to couple up. And *that’s ok*.
Take a good look at yourself and decide on what you want. Lots of these answers seem to be aimed at making you feel abnormal, and I don’t buy that.
I know this is not an answer but I did not know this was a thing. Like I did not know ppl waited this long to date.
I’m also not your target person to provide you some answer.
BUT, it’s interesting that you’re asking about it.
You’re CLEARLY introverted and probably/possibly asexual.
What is it that you’d even want from a relationship or may find value from?
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Also… first time sex with a sex worker, Yeah that sex is gonna suck for suuuuure.
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Like.. do you get “naughty” thoughts? Do you ever imagine what it’d be like to FUCK someone ? and I don’t mean some romantic moan and groan make love. I mean… legit embrace the inner sex beast type of feeling.
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EDIT: Basically, I’m trying to figure out if you’re truly asexual, or if your upbringing had you close off that sexual side of you unconsciously.
Dude you are my fucking hero
This should be a movie. 50 years old and embarking on a journey to experience a different side of life you haven’t touched yet
Prob focus first on making some friends and getting an active social life. Make that as big a priority as you’ve put work. Have some fun
Reading your responses, I think you know yourself quite well and sound like a relationship would serve you no benefit. Relationships take work, patience, understanding and compromise if they are to achieve a healthy balance for each. Not saying you can’t achieve that, but you have to ask if that’s something you want to have to take on given your present life of marching to the beat of your own drum and seemingly happy about it.
Wait what ?? You have never dated ? Anyone ? Are you divorced ? Widow ?…
I don’t get why so many comments here are acting like women are offering companionship and sex and he’s just turning it down? It’s like a mirror universe r/askmen in here.
I have a question for you: do you find women of your age attractive? Because i do not, and i have no idea what to do about it. Like, i was dreaming about touching a cute, young girl, but never did it. At what point i should stop dreaming about that, and start doing it about something who looks old for me? I tried to realize that i am old too, but that does not help…