I really feel like I wasted my 20s. I’m 29 almost turning 30, I never had a girlfriend, or friends. I never had a date or sex. I been told I’m creepy looking and ugly which killed my confidence till this day. I had a girl bestfriend my early 20s and that didn’t help either, has she keep saying things like girls only want guys who have big dicks, are good at sex, and are physically attracted. I haven’t finished school yet which is making me feel worse. I hope for people who are young, they don’t feel the same way I still feel and do better for themselves to avoid feeling this way later on.
29 comments
Hey man, 30s are the new 20s
You’ll discover new experiences and meet new people all through life.
I’m 38. Didn’t start gym until I was 32, wish I’d started ten years before.
Didn’t start team sports until last year. Another latecomer.
Didn’t feel comfortable in certain situations until recently. At 38!
Never regret missed opportunities when you’re younger – even the people who appear the most successful and confident will have missed opportunities from their youth.
Just do what you need to do NOW and work on enjoying future years.
Without meaning to sound a cliché, I think I only became me at 35.
I’m 39. Met my husband in my 30’s, we were friends and shared hobbies before getting romantically involved. People need to live their lives and be happy, if you go around seeking someone, you’re more likely to find a bunch of lemons. Let school take your focus and find some stuff to be proud of. Dudes worthy of your time will be attracted by you being happy, comfortable with yourself and your life, to begin with. And if you’re spending your time on whatever you want to do, you’re not wasting it, right? 😀
Dwelling on what could have or should have been will only keep you stuck in one place. If you truly want to start your life, you need to focus on the present more… you could practice by meditation, or maybe a therapist could help
I know how you feel. The worst part is that the older I get the faster time goes so it just feels like everything is slipping through my fingers.
Trust me, I’m 21 and already terrified of wasting my 20’s
Just a decade, you’re doing better than most.
Just because you don’t follow set standards of the norm doesn’t mean you suck. And get it straight, there is no such thing as ‘wasting your 20s 30s 40s’ or anything. You’ve survived this long because you were meant to, most of the peeps out there struggle to make it this far. And no, you haven’t wasted your ‘so called years’ they shaped you for who you are now. Embrace it, think of it as the cost you paid for realisation (if that thought exp works). And what to do next? Dont dwell on your past, what you think is your past is not true, you just know a part of it. Google ‘recency bias’ (if you dont know) and that might give you some clarity on moving further.
The only thing you’re wasting now is mulling over the past.
Learn from the past and make the most of what you have, now. Life is long – make the future better.
30 was one of the best years of my life and life has just gone up from there. I don’t feel like I wasted my 20s but god damn, 30s are so much fun!!!!
I’m 38 and I’ve only started to really know myself in the past couple of years. Largely thanks to reading and my therapist. You still have time to do amazing things. And have sex.
If it helps OP, the way I see it is that your 20’s is meant to be a decade of discovering yourself. I’m in my early 20’s and I relate to you as well. It’s just a matter of meeting new people. Have a light exchange with anybody you encounter (if it’s safe)
I have a friend who was a Virgin into his 40s. Never dated. Women friend zoned him a lot. He met and married a wonderful woman and now, in his 50s is incredibly happy and a great husband. I have other friends who got married young, had kids, got divorced in their 40s and are miserable. Don’t rush. You’ve got many years in front of you.
I spent my 20’s running around trying to get acknowledgement from people who didn’t give a shit. 30-35 were my awesome years, did so many things, met a lot of people. At 35 I quit drinking, started to be physically active. Can run a 5k on a dime. Just got back from a 4 day motocamping adventure.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
I thought the same exact thing when I turned 30, I’m now 31. Although my circumstances are a little different, I think the underlying theme is still the same: I thought I was destined to be a loser.
I dropped out of college, I broke up with a long-term girlfriend and I moved back into my parent’s 2 months before the pandemic hit. At the time, I was severely underweight and my confidence was through the ground.
Honestly, I think we all know the solution is to be more confident with who you are, it’s more about how to do that.
What I would say to you is keep your chin up and stop beating this shit out of yourself. Reality is hard enough and you can’t turn against yourself. Imagine being trapped with a bully, who knows all your biggest faults, 24/7 with nowhere to escape. That is hell on earth, man! Seems like you already know what that’s like.
You’ve got to be content with everything that you are regardless of the cards you are dealt. I didn’t make my first best friend until I was 29 because my family moved every year and I never was given the chance.
I know it’s going to be hard and it’s going to be a long journey, but you’ve got to find your own happiness and you’ve got to appreciate it every day. A lot of people die not ever knowing the true value of being alive and right now, it seems like you’ve got to figure that out early. I’d like to think that it’s a blessing in disguise.
Don’t consider it time wasted, take it as a learning experience! I’m about to turn 36 and I must say my 20’s were a clusterfuck. I’m not the same person as I was 7 years ago or longer. Everyone goes through what I call life stages! Just stay positive, learn to self analyze look within & your life will change for the better.
Hey I am same age as you. I had it all till maybe 23-24 then a financial crisis hit my family and life just been a blur since then. I feel I’ve wasted my 20s doing things way mature for my age. I plan on living my 30s in a very immature and fun way to make up for the grind I was put through. Just know that not every has or needs to have the perfect life. Start when you are ready.
Always remember, everyone lives at their own pace. There is no “normal” lifepath; somepeople get an unplanned pregnancy that upturns their plans, some get a lifealtering medical diagnosis, some spend years in prison for some stupid decision, some drop dead at 20 at no fault of their own. So don’t worry about what other people are doing or have done, just focus on living your own best life right now.
If you keep thinking about the past, about what you did or didnt then you’ll be losing your time.
29 is a beautiful age my friend! Get to it now 🙂
I (28M) have been called creepy by school bullies in the past, but I still have had multiple girlfriends who were very attracted to me. Some people are just dicks, don’t let them make you insecure.
Same, I’m 28 and feeling the same way. I’ve just been trapped my whole life by depression and social anxiety, never had friends irl, never had fun experiences. I spent the majority of my 20s working full time but it didn’t get me anywhere, now I’m unemployed and back at square one.
If you have the time and money, make it a priority to at least have fun on your own while you can. Travel. I regret not doing it when I had a chance.
Personally I’m having more fun in my 30’s than in my 20’s. Ive got more cash and confidence.
Bro you’re still young, start your damn life now !
Recommendation: try putting in some conscious effort
I’m 26, from the same boat wagon, but putting in the effort really increases self-worth.
I’ve decided to start exercising, dressing better, taking regular showers and random walks. For me it’s basically as simple as “I feel like shit because everyone I see doing these things seems better off”.
So I’ll just slowly ease myself into being better off as well – nothing to lose here. Also, no one’s coming into my house to save me. Why not be the hero of the story while I’m at it…
Edit: this is all about the internal battle. External influences can also boost your outlook if you avail yourself to be influenced
Lol, I wasted my 20s and 30s to keep my family happy and then was abused in arrange marriage meeting by bunch of assholes.
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best is today.
It doesn’t really matter who you are or what you did… everybody regrets their 20s
20s are for regretting… 30s are for being dignified…
Hey friend, I just turned 30. I too have never had a boyfriend or had sex. I view my life equal to my friends who have families. There’s no timeline for YOUR journey. In fact, no one knows this about me. It’s my life and I don’t have to move any kind of way to validate it.