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Yeah functional relationships do exist but you are most probably picking these people to learn something, but you will probably keep picking the same kind until you figure it out.
i had some issues with letting bad people into my life because i had self esteem and general mental health issues from a bad childhood. i worked on myself and worked on figuring out my boundaries, needs, wants. it took some trial and error in practice when i started dating again. i’m in a healthy relationship now. we argue sometimes over small things, but overall there aren’t any problems in the relationship and our commitment to each other.
You need to find someone who will recognize issues and work together to resolve them. Anyone can be toxic every now and then but it’s realizing it and changing together which is hard