I don’t know what this is.
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From what I’ve gathered, it may be a mix of ADHD/Anxiety. I grew up dealing with ADHD as a child, never ever being able to focus in class whatsoever even if I tried my absolute best. I would always end up daydreaming instead, no amount of forced focus helped. I am now 20 and my focus is twenty times better, but I still struggle with it. I often find myself accidentally daydreaming about things \[but now I’m able to snap out of it when I realize I am.\], I tend to subconsciously overthink things \[though I am getting better at dealing with it.\], and I have trouble with ‘going blank’ and not being able to think of what to say. This all turns into anxiety though, I have an absolutely amazing girlfriend who is helping me with becoming more of myself but sometimes I obsess over the idea that I’m not saying enough, that I’m not being interesting enough, etc. I have told her this though and she comforts me so much about it and allows me to relax around her, it’s honestly great. The subtle paranoia does make its way towards me though everyday. Almost everyday I at least feel a very slight feeling of anxiety, something that just doesn’t sit right in my stomach and chest as well as my shoulders. It doesn’t feel good.
I have always dealt with this sort of thing, growing up I always attempted to impress others by being the class clown and it hurt me a lot because I thought being the funny guy was what would get people to like me, but it didn’t and I feel like remanants of that still linger around ever so slightly. I feel like this anxiety and my lack of being in the present moment because of ADHD scares me away from wanting to converse with people and to enjoy talking to them. I love talking to people and getting to know them and just hanging out with my girlfriend, but sometimes all of these feelings can kick in and it leaves me in a state that feels lost, sometimes empty, and overall just miserably sad. I don’t know what to do, maybe it is causing me depression because of it as well, I hate this.
2 comments
Hi,
It seems like you might be suffering from a little bit of anxiety, but from what you describe it is still at an early stage. I’ve been dealing with anxiety for 8 years now and I’ve been taking medication since 6 years. Here’s my two cents:
– When you feel that something is wrong or you overthink it, ask yourself if you have the power to change that thing. If you do, do it. If you don’t, stop worrying about it!
– Stay with your girlfriend, even through tough times. Stability helps and she seems like a good support!
– Learn to love/support yourself, without the help of your girlfriend.
– If you feel overwhelmed by a situation, identify the problem and take long and deep breaths, this will calm you down.
From what I read, you don’t need medication and your anxiety is not that heavy, seeing a psychologist might help you get through it!
Were you diagnosed with ADHD as a child? It doesn’t go away, you know. You can get better at coping with it, sometimes to the point of functioning at a normal capacity, but it’s always in there.
Unfortunately the best resource for ADHD is medication, but there’re other things you can do. I’d recommend *Taking Charge of Adult ADHD* by Dr. Barkley if you do have it. It talks about medication first but plenty of the info in there is practical coping strategies for all the main life scenarios.
Aside from that angle, lately I’ve been listening to a lot of Jordan Peterson lectures, which are easy to find for free online on YouTube or on his podcast. He’s got a lot of good advice for people feeling kind of lost, and knows how to explain how to solve your own problems, or how to figure out what they are, and then solve them.