Do you guys ever read a book, get all this great wisdom from it, and then like a few months later forget all of it and fail to apply it to your life?

31 comments

  1. Thats what keeps the self help industry going.

    They just wait a while and repackage the same material.

  2. I would love to have some recommendations for a book I can forget in a few months.

    Or some that i wont.

  3. Catch-22 is my go to for life lessons. Not a self-help for sure. You need to read it twice to do any good

  4. I’d say that it wasn’t a really good book then or that a lot of it didn’t apply to you in a meaningful way.

    I’ve read a ton of self help books over the last few years. I can immediately spot the ones that promote a bunch of feel good fluff but seem to have very little substance. The books I have read that touched me on a deeper level, those are definitely ones I haven’t forgotten and think about often.

    Two recommendations I can throw out that I see mentioned here a lot, that I DO think are solid books to be remembered:

    **No More Mr. Nice Guy** by Robert Glover

    **Models** by Mark Manson (you’ll also see his other book The Subtle Art mentioned a lot but I don’t think it’s as impactful as Models was)

  5. My solution has been to keep a word document for each year that has a list of each book I read that year, a 2-3 line summary of the book, and a couple of my favourite quotes from the book. Takes about 30 mins and I go back a couple of times a year when I notice it on my desktop.

    It also helps with retention – I am much better at remembering books I read in 2016 for example.

    Obviously less useful for those of you reading dozens or hundreds of books a year, but works great at my 2/month pace.

  6. That’s the biggest problem with modern life. It’s not about access to information; it’s about how to prioritize and retain information.

  7. Whether or not you apply the principles of a book you’re still gaining knowledge that will be tapped into later on in situations when the need arises, consciously or unconsciously.

    Reading will allow you to be able to recall things easier , write an email that sounds professional, or just be interesting and literate in conversations amongst a group.

    It does not matter if you’re reading about the nesting patterns of Terns on the west coast, or a sci-fi alien book (and the fact that you can recall it ) is irrelevant.

    Keep reading.

  9. Trick: small consistent incremental change is usually more manageable. And therefore more likely to implement over time.

  10. It’s like anything you really want to do. If you don’t write it down (and I mean _write, NOT type_) it down, it ain’t gunna stick. You also have to take action incorporating the new perspective, whole-heartedly. All-in. Consistently for a substantial length of time if there’s any hope of forming a good new habit. Immediately following success using said new skill, a written review is needed to cement the idea. Reviewing results, and revising technique, is also crucial to sustain the new habit.

  11. Some books will stick with you during your trials in life. Like for me, The Count of Monte Cristo keeps me going when I’m in my own personal prison.

    I also write down in my notes app of good quotes from Books, movies, life etc

  13. I use Anki (spaced repetition flash card software) to save all the bits of information as I learn them in quiz form.

    Anki is usually used for learning languages, but you can really use it for anything. The program’s genius is that its algorithm stacks whatever cards you have in your deck based on how well you’ve remembered them.

    Tough cards will come back sooner, whereas it’ll save ones you’ve found relatively easy for later on down the track. As you build your deck over time, you can quiz yourself daily on all of the bits of information you’ve saved. I usually do it before bed.

    For example, here’s one card I recently saved from the book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck”:

    Front side: [saongaf] What is philosopher Alan Watt’s “Backwards Law” ?

    Back side: Wanting positive experience is a negative experience, accepting negative experience is a positive experience.

    After saving millions of Kindle highlights and never returning to them, I wanted something that worked better to stick these concepts in my mind. It’s amazing how much information we lose after learning it, and how quickly.

    The joy of this system is that not only will my notes be displayed in front of me at regular intervals for the forseeable future, but I’ll be tested as to whether I’ve really absorbed them. Like with languages, eventually you get to a point where information is burned in and you can then remove the card.

    It’s free and syncs across your various devices. You can grab it at [ankisrs.net](https://ankisrs.net) – hope that helps 🙂

  14. This happens to me every time I read “[The Wisdom of Insecurity](https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Insecurity-Message-Age-Anxiety/dp/0307741206)” by Alan Watts. The whole time I’m reading I am thinking, “Yes! This makes so much sense! I’ve got to start looking at my life differently and living in the now!” Then a week later I’m back to being a general mess. But at least I know the book is there and I can start the whole thing over again.

  16. Take notes, my friend. Don’t just underline. If you take a long time to read, take notes on the side and frequently write summaries of what you think about the book over a period of time and put it in one place. You will find that you remember most of what you read without referring to it again.

  17. I can read an entire section of something without being able directly recall what I just read. I’ve never read an entire book in my life simply for this reason. I cant get the big picture so I stick with reading short little excerpts of things.

  18. Yep, so I reread the book every so often, maybe a chapter at a time, forget it again, reread it again, and slowly permanently absorb it.

  19. All the time. That’s why I reread some of my favorite books.

    Think and grow rich
    The master key
    The alchemist

  20. You retain more than you think if you really try to use what you learned more than once.

  22. Yeah of course, but what I’m working towards is review: currently I underline, annotate, basically study anything I’m getting “great wisdom” from, then I go back through the book making sure all the underlined parts make sense in retrospect, then I write those parts in the back of the book or on separate sheets of paper.

    I’ve come to realize that reviewing information is incredibly powerful, and it has come to my attention that this isn’t emphasized at all, with any detail or guidance whatsoever.

  24. I think if that occurs you didn’t really get wisdom. You may have gained only knowledge. I think wisdom comes when that knowledge is integrated within you and consequently applied to your life. Eating is a good metaphor. Knowledged happens when food is in your mouth – you learn so much about tastes and textures etc. Wisdom is when your body digest and integrates the food.

  25. Sure! Not to make excuses, but it takes a lot of work to transform what seems like great ideas into daily routines and new ways of thinking every moment of your life.

    This is why, imho, Buddhism talks about needing many lifetimes to reach enlightenment, you need to be patient with yourself while also working your ass off.

    Also, some books are just better than others. But going back and reviewing books that were really inspiring at the time are worth reading again.

    For example, Never Split The Difference really got to me. Probably worth reading again.

  26. Happens to me all the time… having trouble overcoming it honestly. I used to journal similar to the word document suggestion, but you have to go back and review it. I try to pick two or three big picture items and leave a note for myself. The good ones stick. Some books are worth revisiting. I think Robert Greene repackaged all the same stories in about six books but I’m not sure. I’ll never know.

  27. I stopped reading books for the life lessons or tutorials. I don’t think that’s the point and it’s not going to stick anyway. I read to absorb the overall lessons and possibly change some of my frames of mind.

    If I start a “great” book and it turns all texty and algorithmic, I’ll stop reading it and get something else. You’re not going to improve yourself through someone else’s formula, so read things that make you a wiser and better version of you.

  28. I think this is a Samuel Johnson quote, and I think I read it in a C S Lewis book:

    “The majority of men do not need instructed. They need reminded.”

    I’m a big fan of reading the same thing over and over again. Could be the same wisdom in different books, or it could be the same book. Think of it like Bible study. You aren’t trying to acquire lots of different knowledge, you’re trying to get a deeper understanding of something you already know.

    This is particularly important when you find yourself thinking you’ve found some new methodology that’ll make all the difference. You haven’t. You’re just reading the old methodology in new words. Still valuable, but different.

  29. Not a man, but as a woman over 30 I can say absolutely! And I’m a bit relieved that this is more common than I thought (I often worry I have a memory/retention problem).

    Thanks u/flw991, u/wedsngr, u/sn0wkitty, et al. for the great suggestions and sites.

    Has anyone here had better retention with audio books? I recently sent my younger sister an excerpt from a book and she responded with some real gems from another book. When I mentioned how impressed I was that she could remember something from a book she read last year, she credited that with having listened to the book vs reading it. I know my mileage may vary, but I’m going to give it a shot bc I think that’d open up the door for more opportunities to “read” anyway (e.g., driving, doing laundry, etc.).

  31. Building wise habits is tough. Wisely building healthy habits might be the crowbar we need to open the box it was shipped in.

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