So I’ve been really frustrated lately by talking to, well, just about everyone. I’ve been trying to be more conscientious lately when talking to people, noticing when to talk and when to shut up, how to focus all my attention on the conversation, and so on and so forth. I’m really trying hard to make conversation pleasant for me and the other person, and to make sure people who aren’t getting attention in group settings get a chance to talk. Since I’ve started doing this, it’s really made we want to talk to people less. Several of my friends and a few members of my family will do “conversation” by just chronically blabbering without letting me get a word in edgewise, just talking and talking and talking without ever asking me any questions or without letting me be a participant in the conversation. I feel like most of the conversations I’m in these days are just people talking AT me, and not with me. Not everyone I talk to is like this, but most are. I’m really getting sick and tired of people talking over me, interjecting and then blabbering whenever I stop to just take a breath midsentence and otherwise treating me like a dictation speech device. To put it more bluntly, my “conversations” consist of someone who won’t shut the fuck up just blabbering until they’re blue in the face without me ever getting a chance to say anything. They never ask me any questions or care to hear my thoughts about anything, it’s like I only exist as an output for other peoples’ verbal diarrhea. Everyone always wants to talk over me in conversation and I’m getting to the point where I’ll just walk away mid-sentence because I’m so sick of it. Is this normal or am I just surrounded by narcissistic people or people who have total shit for social skills? Do I just need to tell them that they’re being problematic? Do I just talk louder and shout when they try to talk over me? Why is this so hard for people? Is chronic oversharing just how people communicate these days? Like, I love my friends, but for the love of god I can only listen to someone tell me about industrial engineering for so long (30+ minutes) before I want to blow my brains out. Would it kill someone to ask ME a question for once?
To be fair I don’t think I’m the most charming or interesting person in the world, but I’m really trying to make a concerted effort to have better conversation and connection with people and it’s really just making me want to not be around people at all.
(sorry for the rant, I just wanted to know if anyone else deals with this sort of thing, it’s driving me insane and really making me want to spend less time with people in general).
3 comments
Were you cooped up during Covid? I was cooped up for over two years and I have found that I have little to no patience with people and they’re problems or to have to listen to them go on and on,,,, if this sounds like you at all I have integrated myself slowly so my I can’t take other people bullshit meter doesn’t hit 100 baby steps for yourself maybe,,,,, or you could be……
you definitely sound like the problematic one in these scenarios
I have a sister like this. And when she is done with her updates, she’ll end the phone call.
It used to bother me, now it makes me laugh that she is so tone deaf. Nice person though…try not to throw away the whole friend just because their conversation skills suck.