I’m so disappointed and heartbroken rn, I feel so bad that it actually feels tight in my chest and it’s become a habit of me feeling this way because people treat me like that. I don’t have good relationship with my family and my sisters seldom talk to me, I don’t have any real friends that i can go to or tell anything about how i feel, i keep getting rejected, not as in i proposed to someone and got rejected but as in no one wants me i see so many girls getting asked out, being in relationships, people just liking them even though they’re not a nice person yet here i am, I feel like i look good, i dress really well, I belong to a good background yet guys don’t like me idk why i want their validation but it’s really started bothering me, I’d send someone a request on insta and they’d reject it or a couple days ago a guy cane to my city and posted if anyone could hang out on reddit I volunteered but when he saw my pictures he immediately blocked me, I don’t understand if I’m ugly or what, he didn’t even say anything. He completely crushed my confidence, i also feel like all guys want is fwb these days, maybe it’s my social skills that lend me in this position but I’ve started losing confidence that I worked so hard to gain, anytime i. See any good looking or rich or educated person i feel so small in front of them, i also feel like a loser because maybe I’m not as bright as others in studies and all, my peers have gone on to do so much and here i am still in the 3 year of university at 23 y/o, I just feel like crying so much I don’t understand what’s wrong with me
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So sorry, I really feel for you. I was a social reject, from grade school through college. I had no idea why. And I, too, took a while to get through college. Like, 7.5 years to get my bachelor’s — a complete shit show. I don’t know about your case, but it turned out I had vastly underestimated how much my poor mental health was affecting me. In fact, I think the reason others distanced themselves from me back then was because I wasn’t adequately addressing my mental health, and that felt very toxic to my peers who already had their own stresses to deal with.
It sounds like you are dealing with some mental health issues as well, and I hope you’ll please take good care of yourself before you worry any more about trying to impress others. Your safety and wellbeing is SO important and should be your top priority, by far.
I can tell you that I eventually got my health under control, graduated college, began a career, and I’ve never been more social and had so many good friends and colleagues. You really are still very young and can have these things– whatever you want for yourself. But trust me, if your mental health is poor, the toxicity will touch everything, including all your relationships.
Take care of YOU. Go at YOUR pace. You don’t need to finish school on someone else’s timeline. You don’t need to match anyone else’s milestones. We all develop differently, and I wish I’d known that, because I just brutalized myself for being the “odd one out.” In the end, it meant nothing. I have what I hoped for. Career, relationships, everything. It will fall into place much more easily once the mental health concerns are addressed.
You have plenty of time. Be kind to yourself. You deserve that.