So I met this guy at my university. I’m a woman. About a month ago, we started messaging each other and getting to know one another, and before we said we liked each other we spent about three days in a row binging movies and talking late into the night for hourssss as friends. We left for summer already by the time we expressed the attraction and plan to start dating when we get back and are just messaging until then. He has so many green flags – he asked before sending nudes and respected when I said no, hasn’t brought it up again. We talked about boundaries. He’s so nice to me and we share interests and a sense of humor and are very attracted to each other. He’s also so complimentary and sweet.
We’ve sent some texts that were a bit raunchy. A few days ago he sent some texts about fantasies which I was fine with, we had a discussion already that it would take a while to have sex so the expectation is set and we both enjoy flirting and everything until being in person. But then tonight I just do a little goodnight text and he texts back goodnight and “I love you”. Is this something worth dropping him completely over? I was thinking of having another discussion of setting boundaries and telling him why it’s too soon etc and if he does well, still dating him. I won’t see him for two more months and want to make sure things don’t go too fast. I was baffled that he sent this tbh. We’ve both expressed that if feels like we’ve known each other longer but I’ve still been consciously taking things slow, like he asked a question about my childhood and I even said, well this feels like a conversation we should have irl, I don’t want to learn everything abt each other through a screen yeah… I really like him but what do I do?? I think it genuinely might just be inexperience that can be fixed with a conversation, he’s only had one relationship before this, I’ve only had one too, but I’ve dated more people. We’re both virgins. It might be partly my fault, I’m used to dating only other women so I’ve been trying to figure out what is normal in these relationships with men, maybe I should’ve told him not to send the more sexual texts…? Advice?
1 comment
I don’t think “I love you” has to be a red flag here. He is probably inexperienced, as you said, and is just excited about starting a relationship with you. If it should become a problem down the road, you can always deal with it then.