He’s one of my best friends and we live together and I care for him like family but I’m not super sexually attracted to him (but I think I generally have low libido) and I feel like he may not be a good fit as a life partner – I’m more independent, mature, ambitious etc and sometimes I feel like I would get a lot more out of life with a different partner.
I like to travel and do new things and run a business and he kind of just chills and is content doing his hobbies and working his normal job. Which isn’t inherently bad, but sometimes I think it would be nice to have a partner to share these things with.
That being said, so many people spend their whole lives and never meet someone who loves them as much as my boyfriend loves me, and I don’t want to take what we have for granted. He’s sweet and caring and loyal. I don’t want to be in an ill-advised grass is always greener situation. He is my best friend and thinking about not having him in my life is deeply upsetting.
I also have a male friend who Is more similar to myself who I sometimes can’t help but compare to my boyfriend and think about what it would be like to be with someone like that instead. But then I feel repulsed and disgusted in myself for even thinking that…. But then I wonder if the fact I’m having these thoughts means I shouldn’t be with my bf.
TLDR: The thought of breaking up with my boyfriend is deeply upsetting but I’m not sure if he’s the best person out there for me. Don’t want to take what we have for granted but the sex isn’t great and we have different levels of motivation/adventure.
1 comment
It is normal to think the way that you are. We should try not to compare. Decide what is your important values in a relationship and life and if they are deal breakers. Listen to your gut feeling. I have been with a guy for 8 years now, very similar situation, for me, things did not get better and my doubt got stronger. I am on the verge of breaking up. Although we are not connected anymore and have grown apart a lot. You seem like you have a strong connection going. If you are happy to compromise, stay, if you feel it is holding you back, go.