My spouse Told me he had a fantasy of her giving me oral sex when he was “rejected” for sex by me….and claims to have felt so unloved that he couldn’t fantasize about himself having sex with me, so he had to fantasize about her going down on me. Does this sound legit? Or do you think he’s genuinely interested or reminiscing about his ex? Thanks!! I feel awful about myself now.
2 comments
Not sure how he feels about his ex, but I think the main take away from this is that your spouse was still fantasizing about you. If he fantasize about her going down on him that would be cause for concern, but to be honest it was about someone else he’s been with pleasuring YOU. Sounds to me like he could have an inadequacy complex and he has probably felt that way while both with her and with you, so his mind just combined the two.
But also, you guys should have a talk about how you not wanting sex isn’t an indicator of how much you love him. Him telling you this also feels slightly manipulative, unless he’s trying to broach the subject of cuckolding.
This is a pretty confusing situation. Your spouse had a fantasy of his ex giving you oral sex? Not particularly weird. Lots of straight men have fantasies about lesbians sex acts, and presumably both you and his ex are women he finds attractive.
Him having this fantasy because he feels unloved? That doesn’t follow. That’s also a whole different can of worms, and frankly it’s a much more important issue than his fantasies. I think you need to talk with him to find out what this means, specifically, and how you two can address it as a couple. Maybe that’ll also provide some insight into his fantasies or just bring them to an end.