Scared to ask but need advice lol!!! Thank you!!!
I’m in my mid-twenties, a woman and have no sexual experience (apart from kissing).
I have a really good friend, a man. I find him annoying sometimes and I’m sure I get on his nerves too, we’re not in love, but we get along great. We’ve been really good friends for years. When he goes to touch me, I find myself leaning away. It’s really frustrating because I hate being a 20-odd year old virgin! If I’m going to gain sexual experience from anyone, I’d guess it’d be from him. He’s never full-on initiated anything because he can tell that I’m not that comfortable with it. But I don’t know why! Is it normal, is it because I’m inexperienced that I feel somewhat repulsed? Are you supposed to push past that? I have heard of asexuality – but how can I know, if I’ve never pushed past the discomfort and had sex? My friend said he’d want to be my partner, if only I were seeking a relationship, but I don’t want to have sex with him – but I do what to have sex! Just once at least! And I do fantasise about sex.
I don’t know what gives. Should I tell him I’m interested, when that’s potentially going to be a manipulative move since I just want sex for sex sake?
I don’t know what to do! I’ve tried online dating, and joining groups to meet people, but I’ve never felt that spark.
1 comment
**Background:** I’m a 28M who’s never been in a relationship and never had sex. I have had a couple opportunities to have sex; I walked away from one because I didn’t feel comfortable about myself, and I walked away from another because I didn’t feel comfortable about the other person.
I see you writing, “I don’t want to have sex with him,” and you’re describing leaning away from his touch, so it really sounds like your instincts are telling you “No!” My concern is that if you ignore your instincts, you risk having a bad experience that will make you even more uncomfortable by sex in the future.
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>Is it because I’m inexperienced that I feel somewhat repulsed? Are you supposed to push past that?
It’s *possible* – sex is an act of dramatic vulnerability, do you think that’s the source of your discomfort? Have you ever met a man that made you feel like you *wanted* to have sex with him, even if it didn’t feel like an available option the way your friend does?