I (F18) in a 1 year long relationship, but I keep starting to develop feelings for others. I have no control over the situation and I am in no way going to act on these feelings, but would really appreciate some advice on how to get rid of these feelings. It does not help im attracted to all genders and am surrounded by people who care and share similar interests to me. Ive tried many youtube tutorials such as trying to see the aspects i dislike about each person or trying to induce feelings of hatred. It doesnt work very well. Is this normal? And is there anything I can do about these feelings because i feel like a fucking cheater, i want to care for and stay with my partner, and if we break up i want to remain friends or on good terms because they were a great friend to me. Under no circumstance would i want to be seen as unfaithful in their eyes, but i cant control how my brain feels. What should i do??
2 comments
I would suggest naming these feelings, are they attraction based? Are they just because it’s nice to have something in common with them. Do you Love your gf? If you love your gf I would say it’s easy to redirect your feelings when you say, I am feeling attracted towards this person but I feel love for my girlfriend. Dig deeper into your self awareness and understand what exactly you are feeling and label it as such.
>I have no control over the situation
Yes you do. You can absolutely control your impulses IF that’s something you truly want. But it doesn’t seem this way right now, does it?
>i want to care for and stay with my partner, and if we break up i want to remain friends or on good terms because they were a great friend to me.
This language tells me that you have feelings for him but you are not commited to him. I get that, you are young and that being in a serious relationship does not fulfil the need of exploration and self-discovery you are likely to be feeling. That IS normal at your age. If you feel bogged down by this boy, let him go and have all the fun you want BUT do not for a second think that it is okay for you to have your cake and eat it too. Don’t get into a pattern of breadcrumbing your exes by stringing them along with meaningless friendships. If you decide to let him go… Let. Him. Go.