My boyfriend (26) and I have been dating for 5 months. I spend most of my time at his apartment and we have sex most days. The sex almost always starts with him stroking himself until he’s hard and then him kissing me or grabbing my boobs for a minute and then us having sex. He rarely touches my vagina and if so he just usually goes right for the hole. I love foreplay, giving and receiving but he seems to just prefer masturbating and then basically using me as a cum dumpster. He also has a hard time keeping his erection during sex and always wears a cock ring. He’s is half hard during sex. He says he has performance anxiety. I tried discussing these issues the other day but it just happened again yesterday. I’m gonna discuss it with him one more time and be more clear on what I want but wanted to see if anyone had any advice on how to handle this situation.
8 comments
Me personally, I would breakup with him. Cuz I have needs too. And it doesn’t just involve intercourse.
Sounds like he likes porn way to much
Omg I love foreplay too but my gf doesn’t let me play with her pussy before sex because she says it tickles lol she just wants to right into penetration so if she’s like let’s do it I have to stroke my dick to get hard now which I hate. I wanna kiss & do stuff to preheat the oven if you know what I mean but she just wants to get into it. I feel your pain
This exact thing happened to me. It was definitely performance anxiety but I was also jacking off and watching porn regularly which undoubtedly had an affect. I’d have to jack off for 5 mins while my ex laid on her belly before we had sex and then I’d come fast cause I just jacked it for 5 mins, I laughed at myself looking back. Definitely talk to him and express this.
Need to have a long talk and explain sex should be enjoyable for both of you and should be intimate with lots touching, etc.
If he doesn’t do that for you… dump his ass. He’s a selfish jerk.
Give him a dose of the same medicine
Erectile dysfunction is not an excuse for being totally selfish in bed, and it doesn’t make men magically forget that most women need foreplay to feel turned on.
Does he do anything to try to please you?
Has he tried seeing a doctor about it? ED can be linked to serious health conditions.
It sounds like he masturbates to keep hard and is very anxious about losing or not being able to achieve an erection so he goes straight for it without foreplay. Have a talk with him about it and reassure him that his erection is not the goal and end all be all of sex right now. He might be masturbating too much as well so cutting that out for a bit might help. It just sounds like he has a bit of a anxiety around his erection and needs to learn to enjoy sex without it.