What makes you feel safe in someone’s presence?

20 comments

1. I feel safe in somebody’s presence when I know that they’re a sincere and honest person with a respect for boundaries.

2. Not lying! Saying stuff to my face even if I don’t like it.

3. Knowing I can be myself without fear of judgement. Knowing she’ll have my back no matter what – being able to open up and tell her how I really feel and knowing she will help me feel better and understand my pain

4. Listening, and actually showing you’re listening.
   A lot of people “hear” but they just “mhm” and then they’ll do something you deliberate said not to do, or warned them about, or something you said you didn’t like, and they’ll act confused as if they didn’t hear it.

   So, by actually listening, it not only makes someone closer to you, and trust you more, but these two things make them feel safe and like they can confide in you, which, the more they do, the safer they feel and the more they can trust you, etc.

5. I’m very introverted in some ways and the way i was raised in a sterile and unemotional home, made me very unexpressive and private. My wife, in our early days of dating, was just the opposite. Very expressive and open with her hopes, dreams, and fears. Even little personal secrets. It really was a peer pressure scenario for me. “Well, if you’re going to be this open and confiding……I guess I should too.” What kicked it off was when she asked me about my deceased wife. Moment of truth stuff. Either tell her your thoughts and feelings on the whole thing or she may shut you out. So I told her about it all. Even my darkest moment. So what makes me safe being vulnerable to her? She’s never crossed me and I hope I’ve never crossed her.

6. Are you trying to bait someone? Clever!

7. Honestly? Nothing. I’ve had to deal with too much crap from people to trust them. Only online interactions are ok with me.

8. If they show me some vulnerability I feel safe

9. I would feel safe in the presence of Geralt of Rivia. Because he kills monsters.

10. Hugs

11. When I trust them enough to fall apart in front of them.

12. If I know they were or are Special Forces is about it. Otherwise most people rely on me to feel safe.

13. That takes a long time of you being attentive and caring. And should you ever, I mean EVER use anything told to you in confidence in an argument, that door is closed. FOREVER.

14. A. Celebrates I would 100% do given the chance (Ryan Renalds, Chris Hemsworth, etc.)
    B. A suprising amount of people from anime (Think Naruto, Jotaro, Josuke, (JJBA) Erwin Smith (AOT) Ash Ketchum, Team Rocket (post fight),

15. Feeling confident that they won’t go tell other people what I just shared with them

16. In general? I’m 6ft2 and have 8 years of martial arts experience. I feel safe regardless, unless I’m in a city like London or Birmingham where there’s a higher chance of people having guns and knives and knowing my government says I can’t own a gun to defend myself from them.

    I’m a man. My job is to make people feel safe, not to look for people to make me feel safe.

    Safe in a relationship? If they said something like “I’m happy to sign a pre-nup” “Let’s keep seperate bank accounts”. Knowing she’s at least centrist, but preferably centre-right or conservative so I feel less at risk of getting MeToo’d if the relationship doesn’t work out.

17. It takes time, some get it sooner some later. It depends on them entirely.

    The more honest you are and basically never sugar-coat you’ll earn my trust faster. Since there is 3 types of people for me.

    People who sugar-coat everything and try their hardest to be ultra positive. Usually these people turn out to be liars and manipulators which obviously isn’t good for you and you should never trust them.

    People who are between, the most unpredictable, hard to know their true intentions. Usually they show their true colors when given the chance tho.

    People who basically never sugar-coat and tell their thought without filter. Bad or good news it doesn’t matter, their tell you how things are and not vaguely so not to “hurt” my feelings.

    Only time you will truly hurt me and my feelings if you happen to gain my trust and backstab me by being the between. I will almost instantly trust people who are not afraid to be negative about stuff even if it involves me directly.

    TL:DR
    Trust=Safe

18. Are you thinking about your sex partner in particular? Experience teaches us not to show negative emotions to our sex partners. They always lose attraction. Resist your urge to cut back on activities.

19. Showcasing love and understanding by not being judgemental or critical over a sustained long period of time.

    Frequent sex and overnights also help speed things along.

20. C’mon, you don’t REALLY want him to be vulnerable with you. You can’t stuff that genie back in the bottle.