So I (26F) and my boyfriend (28M) have been dating for a little over a month now. It’s a new relationship & everything is going pretty well except for the fact that his cunnilingus skills are pretty much non existent. He just clearly doesn’t know what he’s doing down there. I’m afraid that this is a deal breaker for me, considering it’s one of the only ways I can cum easily. My ex was absolutely exquisite in this department, so maybe I’ve been spoiled but now that I’ve had it good I really know what I’m missing. Has anyone successfully taught their partner how to give them good oral sex? Like go from having no skill at all to a pro? I really feel like I need some reassurance that this is possible & some advice as to how to go about it otherwise I may need to break things off. Thanks.
48 comments
That sucks my gf uses her teeth with out her apparently knowing while giving me head… but I’m not gonna tell her anything because she might not give me head anymore I don’t how to tell her with out offending her
Search for Kenneth Play on Pornhub and watch some instructional videos together?
Question a) Are you that sure that you are amazing at giving oral sex to him or are you just assuming that?
Question b) Why do you expect him to be good at pleasing you from day one before he’s had a chance to figure out what you like? Not every girl likes this the same way. Maybe his last girlfriend liked it exactly like that
And finally: Of course you can teach your partner how to please you… that’s kind of the whole point of getting to know eachother. But that takes communication and not expecting your partner to read your mind.
I’m going to be honest here with you… you’ve been together for a little over a month.. so like no time at all… and you’re already considering ending this relationship because he’s not yet great at licking you considering you haven’t even tried teaching him yet (which your question implies)? Sometimes I wonder what went wrong with your generation honestly. This sounds so incredibly entitled, like partners are sex toys or phones for you.. if it doesn’t work immediately, return it after the testing period… Geeez
*“Have you tried telling him how you like it? Example: how your ‘ex’ did it?”*
— Captain Obvious
So tell him how you like it then. 🤷🏼♂️
You have to tell him what you like. If you don’t tell him what you like he won’t know what you want.
I read parents at first..
This is how adults do it… Just tell him how you like it, and to make it less awkward or soften the blow to his feelings, say it in the moment, give him some direction.
Communication with each other goes a long way.
It seems like the vast VAST majority of relationship issues revolve around communication.
I can’t recommend the book “She Comes First” enough. Takes your game to the next level and it’s a quick easy read.
Yes of course. But it can be very woman specific.
I love foreplay which leads into it. I love when he comments on how soaked I and and him taking a deep whiff and how it had such strong smell and how hard it’s made him.
In terms of techniques he should start with gentle exploration licks all around my labia slowly building a rhythm. I like the tongue to go in circles slowly all around. As I get aroused he can go faster in s constant rythym and close the circle to focus on my clit. This way I can in 2 minutes
Other ways are usually underside of his tongue and doing left to right motion. If feels amazing.
Another is using the tip of the tongue and licking up from the vag to the clit
Also he can use his suction to such out your clit and kind of pump it. It can feel insane
If he can he can figure you g.spot come hithers while going the above techniques. Which can make great squirting orgasms
Though the main thing is a guy must be in love with pussy and a selfless lover.
There’s an app for that:
[Lick This APP (or Google it if you don’t trust this hyperlink)](http://lickthisapp.com/)
Several porn stars have educational videos on oral sex. Nina Hartley is the one I’m familiar with.
Back when I was single, I had a 3 some with a husband and wife. They showed me how she liked to be orally stimulated and walked me through it. A few years later I had a GF, and wasn’t that great at oral on her. She was a biology graduate and had a few human anatomy books. She learned where her clit was located, and then walked me through what she liked as I went down on her.
Pressure, firm or soft tongue, insert fingers, etc. She wasn’t afraid of telling me if I was doing good, or if I was doing it wrong.
Communication during sex is important. It’s about educating your partner in how you want to to be pleasured and how you want to pleasure your partner.
I had seen a girl a number of times a number of years ago and it was pretty much strictly FWB. She told me once she hosted a “blow job school” for a couple of friends once. So I joked she needed to do one for me for eating out a girl. So she taught me how to eat her out. She was very patient and descriptive and I practiced. She said I was a good student lol.
Now, with my current partner I usually make her cum and she says I really know what I’m doing down there. So, yes. It can be taught. I think your bf will appreciate it and it will bring you closer.
I don’t understand some of these post sometimes… it’s easy to open legs and get plowed. Or stick your dick in a hole and keep fucking till you cum. However as soon as the topic of “hey I like the sex but we can improve it comes up , all of a sudden it too much of a conversation to be had.
I’m sorry but if you are old enough to have this guy put his mouth all over your punany you are old enough to talk to him about what he can do to please you better. You don’t even have to say “my ex was better “ you can simply say “I like being licked /touched here.” I honestly don’t think this is hard to say/ do
Send him my way, I’ll give him some tips for you haha, my partner loves my skills at eating her out and the way I suck her clit till she cums
This applies for both genders, people who are good at oral are really into it. Then there are people who arent keen about it or think it just belongs to the process of sex and get over it.
If your new lover is not really into cunnilingus there is no way he can become good at it. I declined or stopped many blow-jobs with girls because i didnt enjoy it much and told them i dont like blow-jobs. The truth is, i enjoy blow-jobs from girls who are somewhat enthusiastic about it and know what they are doing.
Guys who want to dig deeper into their skills and explore new lands “The anatomy of female arousal” is one of the best books i have read in my life. Its just stupid to have an ego about sex-education. I knew already a lot about the female body but oh lord, the 5% i didnt know was a game changer. I dont say this to brag but its an amazing feeling as a guy when you can push buttons women havent been aware of before they had. They think im a magician or sex god, but im just very curious, open, care and well educated about their bodies. lol
If you like sex and if you like women, dont assume, ask them, get honest feedback afterwards, read: profit.
I have had three women in my life that I went down on. All three were different on how they like to be stimulated. It is all about communication.
Let him start to eat you out.
Then start giving light pointers and make it sound flirty.
“Stick out your tongue more”
“Oh yes lay it flat there”
“Lick me up and down with that tongue of yours”
“Be gentle right there”
“Press harder tight there oh yes”
Something like that, make it sound dirty.
There are many scenarios where you can start enjoying cunnilingus with him. Him getting kidnapped by a band of lesbian gypsies who train him in the art of pussy-eating would take months and be traumatic. So instead let’s shift and talk about you. I sense apprehension, and that’s okay. Whether you just don’t want to be bogged down by having to be a teacher to a grown man, or maybe putting so much effort into intimate moments like this is just kinda scary for you, you should know that you do deserve to be eaten out well. You especially deserve it if you honestly are putting in your heart and soul to the fullest.
I hope this doesn’t sound too belittling, but simply being able to say “this one thing is a deal-breaker” says to me that this relationship with him is already flimsy. And might I add, are you sure that you enjoyed your exes oral SPECIFICALLY because he “knew” what to do? Could it have been purely his confidence, enthusiasm, and general knowledge of the anatomy that eventually got you off so damn well? It seems silly to me you can’t just go “do these 4 things for the next 30 mins” and correct on the fly? I just really want to make a point of you trying to analyse EXACTLY what you favored to much about the exes skills. Maybe a smidge of “soul-searching” could yield a better solution for why you may not find profound value is making this man eat you out specifically as requested. Best of luck, friend, and I hope you both get exactly what you deserve
A little over a month! The man hasn’t had time to learn you yet and you’re not helping. Tell him what you like.
Use moaning as a tool, bad no moan, great more moan
Just communicate more, be specific.
I learned as a [M28] that I also needed to communicate better if I wanted to get good blowjobs, communication is key for everything in sex.
That Nina video it great. The is also a good book”She Comes First” which takes on the topic. I liked it, read it to step up to game, recommend it for ever guy!
I follow the Key & Peele method and do the alphabet sometimes. I also make sure I do more than just lick the clit.
Had an ex tell my to spell the alphabet with my tongue after a while I started writing secret messages and used her pussy like a journal.
I have found that making sure the clit is already stimulated and erect is important. Basically, the woman must be turned on. Either by rubbing her clit or something as simple as pulling out during sex to performing
Honestly as somebody that enjoys it, the key is effort. If the person is willing to make the effort then yes. It’s really not that difficult lol. If he goes through the motions, he doesn’t care and will never care. Oral is 50% enthusiasm
Just lots of Practice Practice Practice!!
Consider this an opportunity. He is a blank canvas. You can tailor his skills to exactly what you want. If he goes down on you eagerly all he needs is a little time and direction from you. Have fun !!!
In the past, I’ve used my finger to show my guy what motion I prefer and where. It helped him navigate a bit better. Then he just had to figure out what pressure worked best. Just be gentle in your approach but be honest.
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Since no one has mentioned this, have you tried showing him what you want by licking his hand and having him replicate the action? Have him hold his thumb to his hand in order to create a shape similar to your private area.
Speaking as a man, either guys “got it” and love eating pussy/ass AND know how to or they don’t. I’ve had friends who tell me going down on a women is not gonna happen for a variety of reasons. Luck of the draw IMO.
Yes it is possible, with guidance and encouragement.
Do NOT, I mean EVER, say shit like “my ex was better”, or compare him to your ex.
Guy here. Educate the man. All your junk is hidden. I mean we get to see the glans, but everything it’s attached to is important and all hidden. There are diagrams out there that show the anatomy pretty well, and where the most sensitive parts are.
My skills went through the roof after my recovery from the realization it really is a tiny penis. Head and shaft. Just hidden. After that it’s like… Ok, what does my penis like? And then with the knowledge of other sensitive spots, it’s a whole map.
Have fun being a practice subject/partner and rewarding his efforts.
Tell him to eat it like he is eating a pudding cup without a spoon
Recommend:
She comes first (book)
OMGyes season 1 (video guide)
The nina Hartley ones are really good intro
What they teach you is to enjoy the process of learning and have fun! As every woman is different so experiment to see what works! GL
Definitely don’t say outright that he’s not very good at it. I made this mistake with a girl I’m seeing and haven’t gotten a blowjob since, I told her I’d give her gentle guidance but she just shut down.
I didnt really had to teach him but there are certan movements i enjoy more than others and i told him that, also told him what id like him to do with his hands while hes mouth is full so its extra good for the both of us as he likes touching me a lot.
Figure out what you like in terms of touch and be incredibly straightforward about it. No hints, no maybe try this. Just say I like when you do X. Please do that more.
Sorry to hear. Good news if he is willing to listen and you’re willing to communicate, then it should all work out.
The best method that worked for me was telling him that everything I do to him, I want him to do to me. So in a 69 position, it was fun, he learned and I expanded on it as he was there. Now he is EXCELLENT!
What type of advice are you looking for to teach him what makes YOU feel good?
My wife literally moved my head around until I was in the places that felt best to her. And, explained to me the amount and type of pressure she likes from my tongue.
We change things up now and again, but now I know what works for her when she is done with playing and wants to orgasm.
Let him watch this:
[this is widely seen as one of the best vids to learn to lick pussy.](https://www.xvideos.com/video531677/milf_nina_hartley_teaches_how_to_eat_pussy)
Best advice- make sure your partner is a woman
I love all the snarky “hurdur just communicate and say what you want” comments as if all women have gotten off from oral (enough, if even at all) to know what needs to happen for it to work right.
I’ve been working on my bf’s skills for two years. Do yourself a favor and go before you’re emotionally attached. If he wanted to learn a woman’s body, he would have by 28. Mine is 27. I should be having the best sex of my life and instead I’m in a constant state of frustration lol. Run
Yes I have! It took time and patience, but is obviously worth it in the end. The key is that he has to be on board with learning and wanting to work with you to improve. My suggestions are:
1. Have him watch you masturbate, paying attention to the motions and location of where you’re touching
2. Have him stick his tongue out and move your body in a way that feels good
3. While he is down there, have him give you his hand and pretend the tip of his finger is your clit. Lick/suck his finger how you want to be licked/sucked
4. Have him go slow, trying different things, and every time it feels good make some noise so he knows you like it