Keeping this short as I’ve posted about this girl before. We’ve been dating for about a month and things seem to be going great. We have a lot in common and we get along well. The only problem is she said it seems like there is a wall up with me.
She wants me to open up more about past trauma, but I don’t feel comfortable talking about things like this with someone I’m not even in a relationship with. She wants me to talk more about feelings and such. I’m generally really confident but have never been a heart on my sleeve type of guy.
Ladies what is you opinion on this? What do you think this means ?
7 comments
Open up more. But start slow, don’t go from 0-100. Ease her into your traumas haha 😉 we all have some (or at least most of us do).
Open up or dont, thats up to you. I just got slaughtered by a guy I was seeing for about 3 months because I asked him what was going on and instead of opening up he lashed out and basically cut my head off then blocked me everywhere. It did not feel good.
But if you dont open up do it in a mature way and just explain that youre not fully comfortable and that you’ll work on it and make it something to work towards. (if you want to, dont make false promises)
Maybe your not ready to do that. A month is not really enough time to know a person. Doesn’t mean never your just not there yet. If she doesn’t understand that maybe she’s jumping while your taking the back seat right now.
All I can say as someone who has been in her shoes, when your partner doesn’t open up it can make you feel so alone and rejected and unloved
You don’t need to talk trauma but you’re most likely extremely walled and don’t even realize it
Maybe you guys should call it quits. You’re not on the same page and even stated you’re not in a relationship with her. She sounds like she’s looking for someone else.
Just start with surface layer stuff. Tell her you’ll make an effort and actually follow through. It doesn’t have to be deep childhood trauma but stuff going on more recently/day to day stuff