What are some of the most dumbest phrases people say before sex?

45 comments

1. “You know that reminds me of your mum”

2. “I only take cash, sugar”

   Hate when they say that

3. “It’s Morbin time”

4. “But I poop from there!”

5. “Wait, this isn’t tennis!”

6. “I don’t usually do this.” Right before doing it with the skill and precision of someone who’s done it plenty of times. We both know it, so why are we pretending to be ignorant?

7. “You’re gonna like this, you fucking retard.”

8. We don’t need a condom

9. When I’m done there will be only 7 planets left, cuz I’m about to destroy Uranus

10. Let me just finish chopping these habaneros and I’ll be right there.

11. Most Dumbest

12. Let’s bone

13. you remind me of my sister

14. And away we go!!

15. Me to my GF, semi-occasionally:

    “Hey girl. You want… sum fuk?”

    It hasn’t NOT worked, so I guess she does indeed want sum fuk.

16. “You are my first”

    I’ve said this a few times myself but it always ends in laughter lol we’re both just having a good time.

17. “You ready?” Like my dick is out. Of course I’m ready

18. “HAMMER TIME”

19. “Do you know which end this goes in?”

20. “You’re hotter than your sister.”

21. My spouse usually just points to my crotch and then at their mouth and makes a meow noise. Not a phrase exactly

22. “You gon’ take that deack?”

23. “Do you or a loved one suffer from mesothelioma”

24. Ok let’s get this over with

25. “You can do whatever you want to me, as long as you wear a condom”. First time having sex she says this to me. Lady, we might have entirely different sex menu’s, be careful with the blank check lest ear sex go on the table.

26. “I didn’t shave”. I do not care.

27. “you forgot to take out the trash”
    “See, you don’t listen”
    “Lets get it over with”

28. “Time to bury the bone!”

29. “Aww yeah fuck yeah!”

30. “I’m on my period.” And I’m a nut in it.

31. “I need you to sign this form real quick.”

32. Git inna truck, sweets.

33. It’s bigger than mine

34. Using “daddy.” Don’t project your incest issues on me.

35. “I don’t usually do this.”

    Bish please.

36. We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty

37. Here goes nothing.

38. Let’s do it like they do on the discovery Channel

39. ‘You ever try to put a slug in a coin slot’

40. Everything is dumb everybody sounds stupid before sex

41. “here comes the babies”

42. “I’m so glad you’re my mom.”

43. Does this look like chlamydia to you?

44. LLLLLLETS GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLEE

45. “Most dumbest”