Me and my wife live in Birmingham and don’t really have any friends other than maybe one or two each that we actually can talk to or do anything with and the ones we have got we’re both always busy. We’re both early 30s but we just don’t know where we would go to make friends? My wife suffers with depression and major anxiety issues but when I’m with her she’s normally more open to trying things but we’re just short of ideas where we could find new friends that aren’t each other. We’re both overweight and a sports club would maybe be an answer we are both very unfit and self conscious about it.
26 comments
Swingers clubs
I will be moving to Birmingham soon and there are lots of Mental Health support groups, community projects to get involved in. Also, the app Meetup.com has some amazing groups across the city, for pretty much any social activity 😁
If you’re up for it and able to, try climbing/bouldering. It’s great exercise, great for the mind as it’s active route planning/problem solving in your head too. I’ve always found climbing centres to be full of nice, helpful and welcoming people. It’s relatively easy to get into as a beginner too, as you can just rent the equipment you need there.
Pub quiz, regularly attend and you should start making friends.
Any hobbies can be good for places to meet ppl.
My partner and I have made a few new friends (separately from each other) during our 4 year relationships – often we just suggest a double date if they have a partner, and then we bring everyone together for dinner. We’ve made some of our closest friends this way.
I met one of my BFFs on Bumble! Try it out
Try jiu jitsu
Have a baby, you’ll meet plenty of other parents.
*Please do not take this in any way seriously, it’s up there with having a baby to save the marriage and actually a bloody stupid idea*
Get a dog. You’ll meet loads of people out walking and even if you don’t, your dog will be your friend 🙂
Volunteer, it’s a reason to see other people regularly, especially if you get involved in a bug social project that has lots of other people involved.
Join a club of some sort.
My wife and I picked up archery, which while being a sport, like golf or darts etc, doesn’t necessarily require A grade physique. Has been useful in meeting new people and contacts.
I live in Birmingham and work from home full time. When I moved here in 2015 that made it very difficult to meet people and make friends as the ready made social life that comes with a workplace isn’t available to me.
You mention you’re overweight so, if that’s something you’d like to tackle in a supportive atmosphere, a group exercise environment is a great way to meet people, form good habits and sort out your fitness. Just make sure you pick one with a strong social scene and be sure to put yourself out there in terms of introducing yourselves, etc.
DM me if you want any guidance.
If you’re keen to get fit, maybe see if there’s a couch to 5k/C25k group near you? In my experience people running/attending that type of thing are very friendly, and it also opens the door to things like ParkRun, which is also quite sociable I think.
I’d also second volunteering, it can be really rewarding and there’s so many opportunities out there that you should be able to find something that fits your interests.
My husband and I joined a korfball club about a year ago. It’s a very beginner friendly mixed gender sport. I’m not a sporty person at all but being able to do a joint sport with my husband gave me that confidence to try. We’ve met lots of people through the club and there are regular social events.
I highly recommend Meetup. It’s how I met some of my closest friends
How about:
* Sports clubs – badminton, tennis, rowing, cycling etc.
* Board games venues – pubs, bars that run board game nights etc.
* Volunteering – helping various charities: animal shelters, homeless, food canteens
* Religious – churches, mosques, ritualists etc. all usually have social/recruitment evenings
* Wine/beer/food tasting evenings
* Pub events and quizes
Pub quiz is often really good to meet new people, go there often enough and you start to make friendships. The issue is good friends do (of course) take time to get started – we personally made good friends with some other couples at a pub quiz which we went to every week or so, a few months down the line we ended up going out to other bars etc or for meals.
Go to a club of somesort with people who enjoy the same hobbies/past times.
There’s clubs and groups for allsorts. Fitness, Vehicles, Tech, Finance, Board Games, Computer Games, Reading, Movies, wildlife…. The list is endless.
Get a dog. You’ll know every dog owner in your neighbourhood within a month.
Dogging.
Have a look on Meetup
That’s the neat part – you don’t.
A few months ago I joined a boardgames group in my local area. I’m not massively into boardgames but was desperate to get out the house. Now I have like 10 amazing new friends and my partner has started to come with me so they’re turning into couple friends.
You’ll find a lot of community lead groups/clubs don’t require you to be proficient in that activity for you to join. They’re usually happy to teach you.
See if there’s a Parkrun nearby if running might suit – they’re usually friendly and you’ll see the same faces week after week. Don’t worry about being slow – they’ve all been there.
I know you mentioned that your wife is very anxious (I can relate from personal experience) but I wondered if she might be open to attending women’s meetups on her own? There’s an fb group called Birmingham Girl (i’m a member of the equivalent in Manchester) and I found it an enormously helpful resource when I moved here last year. I have very good friends who I met by attending a local meetup of 10-15 people for casual drinks. I also have since met their partners and introduced them to my partner
Any local walking groups? You can get some moderate exercise, and whilst you can be social, there is no pressure to be constantly chatting, you can just walk for a bit if you want. Usually these groups tend to end at a cafe or pub, so more social opportunity if you want. Look for a group that does walks to your comfort zone.
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btw, never worry about being unfit when joining a health activity group. People dont start out fit, they get there by doing stuff. Chances are most people there started out pretty unfit before they joined. People are almost always really supportive. I’d bet you’d be supportive to others, dont expect less of other people.
Think of one or two things you enjoy, then search meetup. Lots of groups are free. Or ask on Nextdoor where your local community centre is- there are a few around but unless you know about them they can be hard to discover. Then…go to stuff. Go every single week, focus on the activity and enjoy it, and then slowly but surely you’ll start to chat to the other people who are also showing up week in week out.