I (29M) and my wife (27F) have been married for just over a month now, and for reasons that are important to us we decided not to have sex until marriage. Learning the ropes has been fun, but I’m a little concerned about her side of the experience: every time (about 4) I’ve tried to enter her it’s painful for her. Oddly, it’s only for the first half of me, once I’m fully inserted it’s no longer painful. I want sex to be enjoyable for her, so I’d love to hear any advice on what might help resolve her pain. She says I must be big and she must be extra tight, but it hasn’t been an issue for her with partners in the past so I’m doubtful.
One other thing- does anyone have advice making sex a little less messy to clean up? I think between the initial pain and knowing that she’s going to be cleaning up cum leaking from her for a while sex has begun to be a bit of a chore, and I’d love it to be more enjoyable for her (not to mention encourage a bit of spontaneity). For instance, how does anyone wake up in the middle of the night and enjoy a little fun with their lover and not have to take a shower immediately after or spend 20min trying to push semen out of them so it’s not all over them and the bedding in the morning?
Thanks for the help Reddit!
7 comments
Lube, find a good lube u both like that will help u slide in, get her so hot for u, foreplay is key. Play with her clit (little ball that’s impossible to find above her lips, you’ll have to actually look for it) make her pussy wet and wanting to be fucked
i’ve been married for two years now and still haven’t had middle of the night sex.. once you figure that out let me know. lol
my wife usually just goes to the bathroom right after and then hops in bed and we cuddle and sleep. it is for sure messier than movies/porn has portrayed it but it’s worth it.
like the other guy said: foreplay is key. try oral!! that turns my wife on so much… massages, find the spots while you finger her, and when she says just do that… don’t change anything. communicate!
also LUBE! Lube works wonders for us.
Re. semen clean up, I pee after sex and then wear a panty liner for the next handful of hours.
We just embrace the mess… but I’m lucky to not be prone to UTI. But going to the bathroom seems sufficient, a shower every time seems like overkill to me.
You gotta pull out my my dude makes the clean up 10x easier just take your tshirt off and she wipes it off. Also middle of the night sex just happens, from my experience you just have to kiss and rub the thighs and legs. My girl loves back kisses so sometimes I’ll do that, just understand it happens outta nowhere I was half asleep too.
Lube, spit, and only partially going in and coming back out to spread moisture around the outside can help. If you are sure she is extremely horny and still have issues the above mentioned methods will help.
As others have said, lube. And ah yes… The beloved wet spot on the bed lol. I recommend having a designated sex towel or blanket. Maybe 2 so if one is dirty you have the other. Baby wipes make clean up easier but one or both of us need to rinse off sometimes. Buying a handheld shower head helps to get more localized clean up.