My best friends and I showed each other nudes and I got aroused. I’ve been playing with the fact that I’m gay or not for a while but I feel like it’s just a hyper-fixation or a phase. The problem is that I have a male fiancé and I’ve been straight all my life. I’m 19 and my fiancé is 20. My fiancé isn’t keen on being with a bisexual woman I don’t think. I’m just confused. I love my fiancé so very much. I want to marry him one day but I don’t know how being bisexual would affect our relationship. I can’t even tell if I am bi. I just really feel like I’m going through a small phase. (I go through phases a lot and I hyper fixate a lot.) I don’t have feelings for my friends but women just seem very arousing and attractive to me sometimes.
Edit: my friends are both bisexual.
9 comments
Everything that you are experiencing seems really normal. This is what your 20’s are for – having experiences and figuring out who you are.
You owe your fiancé honesty about your questioning. If that runs him off, better to know now. Life – if we’re lucky – is long. You both will change tremendously over the journey. The trick to marriage is knowing, accepting and loving your partner for all that they are and will be. If you can’t share this, he’s not the one.
Women are beautiful! I can’t blame you! Can I ask why you think your fiance isn’t keen on being with a bisexual woman? You sound like you’re very dead set on staying with this man, so I think you can certainly assure him that your attraction to women wouldn’t affect your relationship. Plus, you guys will have more in common. 
Maybe rethink being engaged at 19 then..
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(23F) im the same lol. i dont have the urge to be in a relationship with a girl (maybe bc i havent tried it) but i always knew i liked kissing them haha. fast forward now & ive slept w a few girls &…. BEST. SEX. EVER.
simple answer: women are hot lmao. & just so you know, most FULLY straight girls watch lesbian porn (:
Look, the ability to stay in a monogamous relationship does not really depend on one‘s sexual preference. It really bothers me when someone doesn‘t want a bisexual partner for that reason. Being into both men and women won‘t make cheating more probable? Either there is committment to monogamy or there isn‘t.
But do you find some men very arousing and attractive as well?
If not then your a lesbian and you should just stop dating men. Being in love romantically with a man is not enough, you need to be sexually attracted to him and turned on by his nudes as well
A label is just a word. Not who you are as a person.
I PERSONALLY wouldn’t “label” you as bi if you are aroused by women but never intend to act on it. If you intend to be in a monogamous relationship with a male for the rest of your life/foreseeable future and only intend to physically interact with him, in my eyes that would make you straight. What you fantasize about, what gets your motor revving….etc doesn’t change your sexual identity.
If you want to physically experiment, have sex with, or be physically intimate with a woman that changes things. Not only from a sexual identity standpoint, but obviously a relationship standpoint as well.
All things being equal, even if you did experiment/have sex with a woman and then decide your orientation is only for males, you still aren’t bi/gay unless for some reason you chose to label yourself that way. Those labels are supposed to be how you choose to orient yourself and make communicating that easier. It’s not a brand burned into your flesh after an action for the rest of your life.
I think you have to be comfortable with getting married without knowing or you should wait to get married and try to figure this out.