23 Male around south I dont know what to do with my life I graduated Cruise Line Culinary Arts and I dont know what to do in my life. I almost committed suicide because of my anxiety issues and overthinking , I am always depress and I wanted to die. Having mid life crisis as of now.ù

47 comments

  1. I cant stay on my goal and I am sex/ lust deprive its just that my body always wanted sex.

  2. You don’t have a sens of identity and you are in a panic mode because of that. Take some time, take it easy and try to figure out why your identity is not so stable. Take a notebook, start googling stuff. In the beginning it’s gonna be weird and you won’t know how to search and how to name the things you are feeling, but with a lot of time you will gain clarity. Did you by any chance had too controlling or narcissistic parents? That can be one example for a reason behind what you are going through now.

    There’s no reason for a crysis over these things. One, most people are kinda lost and many have such moments of huge uncertainty. But you can just try things. Take a decision based on your current knowledge. Make sure to allow yourself to make mistakes and fail knowing that at that time, with what you knew, that was the best you could do, and just try something else.

    You’re gonna be fine. Believe in your self and don’t beat yourself up for mistakes. That’s how you grow and learn.

  4. Physical things could be good, things that bring your focus into your body and away from your thoughts. Any kind of exercise would be good, but meditation is probably ideal.

  6. I am culinary arts graduate I’ve been unemployed for almost 1 year I feel fucking useless.

  7. I’ve lost everything because of overthinking and anxiety and its feel like Im just wasting time always comparing myself to other people.

  10. Sounds like lots of issues my friend. My main advice would be find a good therapist and talk to them. My other piece of advice would be to start focusing on your self little by little. Exercise, eat better, sleep better. And think what would truly truly make you happy in this world right now, like truly think about it and once you find out work on it as hard as you can. Don’t worry about anything, just work and know that as long as your putting in the work to get what makes you happy, your going to get it.

  13. Firstly, please try to see a therapist. This may help.

    I also think you should try to look at this situation through a different perspective. You graduated. Be proud of yourself for your hard work! Many others are unable to achieve that for various reasons.

    It may be that you’re seeking your next big accomplishment. In that case, why not try to find a hobby or something you’re passionate about? If you’re able to, spend some time figuring out what it is that you like. You’re 23. You’re still extremely young. There’s no “mid-life crisis” at that age.

    Try to be introspective and retrospective. Was there something that happened in the past that makes you feel this way? Sometimes we brush aside our childhood trauma and go into adulthood as if nothing’s wrong, but the truth is we’re hurting. It’s important to figure that out and heal.

    All this may be an issue of feeling the need for validation, especially from external sources. If so, you really need to believe in yourself and look within. Again, you’re still young, so it’s okay to dedicate some time to figure it out.

  14. To make change accept yourself and where you are at. Accept you may not have been the best and have made wrong choices. We all do.

    Feel all your emotions but just feel them. Don’t think about them and forgive yourself. establish the belief in yourself. Believe that you have the ability to change your life and receive how and thrive. You deserve it and you can have it. Molding your life takes time and you will fail again and again. “Learn to rest, not to give up” -banksy.

    You can make yourself whatever you choose to be but you must believe and be gentle with yourself.

    And maybe you have done everything “good” but can’t find your fire. Now you just explore and find what makes you happy

  15. I recommend Martial arts and Religion. Start taking time to enjoy the little things in life, and sip on moments of happiness as if it is fine wine. Understand, you will feel happy sometimes and sad sometimes. If you find yourself doing something without a purpose (such as playing video games just because you are tired) you would be better to just take a moment to sit down and rest or meditate(aka think). If you think about hurting yourself, you really don’t want to hurt yourself, quite saying that. You are just stressed, and tired. Cut out caffeine and sugar, go to bed earlier. Take time to breathe and remind yourself that whatever you are stressed about is pretty inconsequential. Work your hardest at your job and always take time to help someone who needs help with something you can do. Put more effort into your appearance, you don’t need to be a super model, but be able to tell yourself you like the way you look. Check your diet, if you are 23 and suffer from regular suicidal thoughts you may be serotonin deficient. I recommend taking the time to learn about basic psychology and how emotion works. I strongly recommend seeing a psychiatrist, they can prescribe a medicine to ease your burden a little bit.
    I could go on for hours, but I really don’t want to stress you out. I feel the same way to be honest, but life is a bittersweet flavor. The bitter moments of life make the good things taste even sweeter.
    Stay strong God bless you and I pray for your happiness,
    -Michael Hill

  16. This was me a year ago. I talked to my doctor and started meds for depression. It has seriously been life changing. Therapy and exercise are important steps to recovery as well.

  20. Regular therapy for years saved me when I was in a similar position.

    There is a lot to unpack here, you shouldn’t have to do it alone. Unfortunately, it would be difficult for anyone less than a trained professional to help.

    You have tremendous value. I know this because I personally value most human life for my own reasons. The issue is you need to be able to see it. Being employed adds some value, sure, but it is not all of the value of a person. I can think of numerous people that aren’t traditionally employed that I respect. I also know numerous employed people who don’t deserve much more than minimal respect.

    A persons inherent value is usually dependent on your own values. What do you value in others? Why? What do you *want* to value in others and why? If you’ve never thought about these questions before, it’s going to be difficult to answer and might take time. Apply what you value in others to yourself and become the person that you value.

    Before therapy and medication (Prozac and medical cannabis in my case), I was also unable to see my value. You aren’t alone, but please reach out for help. There may be resources near you that are just waiting to help.

    You may be 1 in billions of humans, but we are all simultaneously unique as well. No one else has lived the life you have, in the setting you have.

    To move forward as efficiently as possible, we have to accept what is and cannot be changed (like the past). We can control how long we dwell on the past, to a degree, but only once we learn to accept can we truly move on. Then we can plan what to act on in the future to help us best attain our goals/dreams/values.

    That’s the stage I’m at now of my own journey. I’m training to become a computer programmer as an unemployed disabled person. It’s been tough with a lot of setbacks so far, but as long as I stay the course, and keep behaving like a person that I respect, I can’t go wrong now. My dream is to help others who struggle eventually, and as long as I’m making progress towards that end, I can keep going. ‘1% better every day’ is my mantra that keeps me going, and its based on [this (YouTube link)](https://youtu.be/mNeXuCYiE0U)

  23. Talk to God, trust in him, and trust that he will do wonders in your life. And please trust me. I’m not a troll, I really truly care for you, and I God will help you overcome your depression because he did so for me.

  24. I recommend you take Inner Engineering course. It has really helped me have a good perspective on life.

  25. Overthinking is a curse bc you miss the opportunities around you and are anxious about life when you should just be engaging with it. Do you have any friends? That’s a good way to ground yourself, and getting a hobby/job

  26. Search “how to stop over thinking eckhart tolle” on YouTube. Just start with the first video and take it from there. I’ve done multiple kinds of therapy, self help books, but eckhart gets to the fundamental level of change that must occur in yourself before you can create real change in your life.

  27. The cliché things work: gym, earn/save $ set goals, church, go help family. Understand that after schooling it’s common to have a lul. I had horrible depression right after graduating a world class school I was in physical pain from my mental state I couldn’t sleep in my own bed or couch I was on the floor while my wife had to watch me lose my mind and be in pain. I went to work and started my career desperate as hell. Now 10yrs later I’m blessed with an amazing life most importantly my family and kids. Harden yourself and if you need to shovel shit in all directions do it. Get on your own feet first then pursue relationships when you are self sufficient. It only takes a year to 180.

  28. Wild idea: I love food and art, and have decided to reserve those things for myself on a personal level because I needed money to change things in my life in order to finance doing those things for a living later on. Plus I really hated critics of worki did. It was cool to learn and experiment but now I just want the space, time, and resources to do what I want, but I need money for that to exist.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is I wish I had started chasing that idea a decade ago so I would currently be cooking things and drawing or painting in some way that I make money and have no ducks to give because everything’s paid for instead of being a starving artist working at some sushi bar…

  29. Sounds like me. I’m in my 20’s and I’m anti social, and my biggest fear is being an inconvenience. I purposely miss out on events I really want to participate in because I think me being there will somehow dampen the experience of those I go with. I say no when I mean yes, and yes when I mean no. I always assume the worst outcome is what’s going to happen, and I feel like I’m not deserving of fun/love/friends in life because I’m lazy and don’t work hard enough. I’ve been plagued by overthinking and self doubt my whole life and to this day I still am. It’s sucks.

  31. It helped me a ton to switch the way I overthink from positive to negative. Did something awkward and want to stay up late stressing? NOPE. I’m going to reimagine the situation with the best possible outcome until that’s all I remember and be better equipped should it arise again

  36. Actually I’m also 23 year old.
    And same thing heppended with me also.
    But in my luck i got a job in army school salary is low but it’s ok for my own budget.

    Keep doing never lose your hope.
    And work hard.

    Now I’m trying for more better job…😀

  39. im 23 as well, i have the same issues as you. around 1 year ago i just decided that no matter how im feeling i refuse to let it slow me down or stop me from improving. I still have my problems but i see it as my mind telling me im unhappy with my situation and the only thing that will help is if I stop making decisions based on my emotions and realize im the only one stopping me from a better life. My life has been so much better after i stopped feeling sorry for myself. Respect yourself and set standards. The mind is the most important thing to master in life.

  40. 23 y old, you dont know shit about life mate

    Here are things you could from now:
    Go volunteer at an association
    Join a gym or a sport session with other people
    Join a reading club
    Start cooking your own food
    Invite your close friends/ family out ; could be a picnic, a walk…
    The thing i al trying to say is there so much for you to do and discover and this is just a phase, so go ahead and try new things.
    Very important: talk about it ! In a way that you can take actionable advice.
    Also meet a psychologist to empty your mind

  41. Start exercising. Get a full nights sleep every night, eat healthy home cooked meals, start running and/or join a gym. Changed my life. Maybe get on anti depressants to boost your serotonin if that still doesn’t work, you might just have bad brain chemistry.

  42. I was severely depressed at 23, started working on that shit, now I am 32 and will go back to college in september.

  43. Save some money if you don’t have it, And take a long backpacking vacation to Thailand. It will open up your mind and you make you meet people with different backgrounds from all over the world. Try out good hostels whenever traveling theyalways have many socializing events that can be fun. I did it and it was the best thing I did in my 26 years.
    Best wishes
    26 years old overthinker

  45. Get yourself tested for vitamin deficiencies. It could just be vitamin B12 or D you are missing. Pick a hobby like running or lifting weights. Read the good books. Work on your communication skill. Date someone. Take one step at a time and soon you will be a changed man. Good luck bro.

  47. Pretty much everyone doesn’t know what to do with their life, when your in your teens you think 20 year olds have it all figured out. When your in your 20’s you think must be 30 you’d have it all figured out. When your in your 30’s surely 40 you’d have it all figured out. Guess what pretty much no one does!

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