I have read that you should compliment other people to make them like you more, and I try to compliment and be positive to my friends, as they are really smart and talented at whatever they do. But as an unattractive person, I am afraid that I come off as a creep rather than someone trying to compliment another.
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Compliments are meant to make the other person feel good. Not to make them like you more.
I don’t know your gender identity but as a guy, I don’t compliment my friends much. In fact I do the opposite 🙂 We make fun of each other a lot and give each other a hard time. It’s how we show our affection. We are tight and know we think well of each other so we don’t need to say it. I think this goes for a lot of guy friends. (I’m sure people who don’t like gender roles will criticize this, but at this moment in time this is how social norms works, so act accordingly). It is much more accepted for girls so compliment each other. The first thing they might say when they see a friend is “cute skirt!”.
However, if your friend has an accomplishment and shares it with you then they care what you think and you want to show you are proud of them, even if it’s something as simple as “that’s awesome”.
It’s all about the way it comes. Sometimes someone can do something where if someone else did the exact same thing it wouldn’t come off as good. It’s all about your vibe and as you get more charming you can start to say a lot of things.
You can play around with it. Say some compliments, see reactions, learn. When I transitioned from being socially oblivious to being the opposite I went through awkward stages and some of my friends still joke about it . You WILL come off as wierd when you are first learning to do something. Just like you fall off a bike a lot when you are learning to ride it.
Speaking in generalities, a good complement relies on two things.
1. Being specific
2. A thing that the other person can control.
So for example, let’s say you’re friend is a artist and made a painting of a duck. You could say something like “That’s a good painting of a duck.” But a better complement would be along the lines of “I like your duck painting but I really like is the amount of detail of the lake with the lily pad.”
This lets your friend open up a bit more on the process they took and let’s them know that you’re paying attention.
If you’re worried about coming off as a creep, keep complements short and follow the other persons lead. Don’t stay on the lily pad longer then you have to. If they want to move on, let them move on.
Also don’t put yourself down to build the other person up. Just say it and go.
> You should compliment other people to make them like you more
There was this guy that once said something about the “nice guy” vs the great guy.
What he said about the “nice guy” was something like this: “I want this, and this is how i am going to get it” meanwhile the great guy is the opposite.
Just because you’re doing good things, don’t expect people to like you back (That is very much manipulation and you’re gonna end in trouble if you’re expecting from other people). You don’t want anything from the opposite person, you can still be sweet & respectful towards the other 🙂
I’ll just say it straight away, but don’t be like “I want this, give me this, i need this, i want i want, okay this is how i’m gonna do it” etc.
I guess you can figure out the rest of it where i’m going with this, what can you do different?
What kind of compliments? I (M) don’t really compliment my friends maybe if they’re wearing nice shoes i’d give a nice “nice shoes” or if they score a goal go up to them and give them a high five. But it really varies since boys don’t really compliment each other like make fun of each other lol also im not sure if you’re a woman or a man.Maybe elaborate a bit? I’d love to help.
Save compliments for things that you REALLY think are cool. And make them matter of fact…..like ‘Nice hat’…….
Don’t be trying to think of compliments all the time……..
Be honest.
And remember that you have talents that nobody else has………You are one of God’s Kids after all.
Z
First off, as long as you keep feeling you are unattractive and creepy, people will notice and feel that vibe coming from you. People notice the way you carry yourself and the vibes you give off. When you are nervous/anxious/overthinking/worrying a lot, your verbal and nonverbal actions tend to show it. If you keep acting this way, people will stop associating with you because it’s a negative vibe. You are essentially conveying that you are indeed unworthy to hold a conversation with them or be around them and that they need to be constantly reassuring you. That’s not what you want to convey, and it’s nobody else’s job but your own to validate and reassure yourself. People gravitate towards self confidence, not anxiety.
You give a compliment because you are confident and truly mean what you say. You don’t do it for approval or attention. Your compliment should be based on something outstanding or unique you personally witnessed them doing. Bring it up about why you found it outstanding/unique. Also, when you compliment somebody, don’t say things like “I wish I was X like you are”. That is subtle self deprecation and putting the person on a pedestal because of X; in other words, you are conveying the other person is better than you because of X. Remember, a compliment about them should only be focused on them and reflect positively about them; it should not be a negative self reflection about yourself.
You speak directly, simply and with good intention. You do not vamp. You give it as a sign of encouragement when people need it and don’t force it when it feels out of place.
Well it mostly depends on 3 things.
1. Who you compliment… You said you want to compliment your friends. So if they’re already your friends, that means they probably already like you and don’t find you creepy. It’s not weird to compliment your friends. However if you wanna compliment a random woman on the streets, that’s creepy.
2. What you compliment. It’s usually not creepy if you compliment something like an outfit or accessories, shoes,… something not related to the person’s body. Or you could also compliment personality traits when it comes to the people you already know. But if you want to compliment a stranger, I would go for their outfit.
3. How you say it. I mean the way you come across changes everything. It doesn’t have much to do with your appearance, it has more to do with the specific words you say and if you seem confident saying it.
First Understand that we are all inperfect human beings. So dont feel bad about being unattractive because there are things that you can do to help
1)Go to the Gym
2)Learn a new hobby
These 2 things will slowly transform your mentality. And yes It’ll take at least 3 months to feeling from A to B
Now first as i said, you Must feel good within yourself. When this is done your body sends out an Auora that other people can pick up on.
This is when you compliment without someone without feeling creepy.
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