I do want to preface this with saying that I am in no way against my boyfriend using sex toys. I have multiple vibrators myself. I’ve recently gone through some sexual trauma unrelated to him and it’s been hard for me to be intimate. I know it’s been leaving him frustrated so I’ve been very encouraging about him getting a toy and I have even offered to buy him one. Today he tells me he got one off of amazon and sends me a picture. When I opened up my messages my heart completely sank. He got a pocket pussy that looks like a white girl’s vagina. He is white, I am latina and my vagina isn’t pink like that. I didn’t think it would make me feel insecure but the idea that he’s getting off inside a vagina that looks nothing like mine makes me feel bad. Is that fucked up of me? I know he could tell that it hurt my feelings but he just seemed pretty annoyed about it. I’m just worried that he thinks vaginas that look like that are more attractive and thats why he bought that one. I looked in this thread before writing this as well to see if anyone else has experienced the same thing and instead i found that some men prefer the pocket pussy because it’s tighter than the natural vagina and now I’m even more worried. Am I over reacting or being fucked up?
14 comments
You’re massively overthinking this.
Like 95% of male sex toys will either be white or clear.
🤦♂️
You can get kits where you can mould your own vagina i believe, maybe surprise him with that?
i’m latina too, so like you my vagina isn’t pink either, but i think you’re overthinking it. he likely just went for either the first one he got to, or the one that fit his budget, he probably didn’t pay too much attention to its colour, most pocket pussies are white/pink so i really don’t think there was anything deep behind it!
He bought it cause it had the best price or best rating, pretty sure. He would have had to buy a way more expensive one to get one that looks like yours probably. So chill out. Man just wants to have something to cum in.
It’s a little bit of overthinking, I wouldn’t say there was any intention aside from it was probably number one in sales! Maybe next time both of you could go shopping together as a treat and help with the product testing after. Might be fun😉
It’s not a vagina, it’s a piece of artificial material. You have the only vagina in his life. You say “not against toys” but you are and didn’t know it until now, that’s okay because these insecurities come up. You aren’t fucked up at all, but you are overthinking it and unfairly connecting very distant dots here. You need to tell him how you are feeling, bottling this up has already started to be a problem.
Overreacting to levels previously thought impossible
Pussy is pussy. Besides most toys are white or clear
It’s a natural reaction to feel how you feel now. But I would point out that most things we make to imitate the human body are made “white” by default. Bandaids, makeup, etc. I doubt he purposely chose the color of the toy, it was probably just the cheapest or most available option on Amazon.
Wow…making him feel bad is a shit move. It sounds like you need some therapy for several issues before getting into a relationship.
As a super jealous person I get where your coming from. I’m not against my bf getting a sex toy either, I have my vibes. But I wouldn’t want him getting a toy that looks like a vag, the ones that are clear don’t look like a vag would be fine with me, even hot to watch. But in my crazy head I don’t want him fucking another vag even if it’s fake. On the flip side though I don’t have any dildos, I only use bullet vibes. He wouldn’t like me using dildos that look like dicks either.
If it makes you uncomfortable tell him that. Ask him to get one that doesn’t look like a vagina. Or do the mold your own thing.
People are always harsh about this reaction – “Get over it, it’s plastic!” – and I absolutely agree that you should not feel threatened in any way. The color of the toy is almost certainly just about what was available at the right price, and even if he *did* especially want a pink toy, that doesn’t mean he’s any less interested in you. He’s with *you*, not a pink woman.
BUT ALL THAT SAID, I think it’s important to acknowledge that your feelings are normal. Sex is extraordinarily personal and vulnerable, and seeing your partner enjoy something that isn’t you and *that you can’t provide* feels painful and threatening at first. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about that. Just think about it rationally. Let your BF reassure you and *believe him*.
So sorry about your trauma and wishing you peace and recovery.
You’re overthinking it. And FYI, plenty of white women have darker vulvas too. It’s really not a big deal.