I don’t have any close friends. I have a few people I could reach out to and maybe do something with, but I’m terrified to message people. I think that I’m annoying them when I text, they don’t want to talk to me, they think I’m a loser. I know it’s not true but I can’t shake it from my brain.

2 comments

  1. I feel the same way but I also get that in person. I feel like I’m probably just annoying them and they don’t need me as a friend.

  2. As long as you keep viewing yourself as annoying and a loser, people will notice and feel that vibe coming from you. People notice the way you carry yourself and the vibes you give off. When you are nervous/anxious/overthinking/worrying you are annoying and a loser, your verbal and nonverbal actions tend to show it. If you keep acting this way, people will stop associating with you because it’s a negative vibe. You are essentially conveying that you are indeed unworthy to hold a conversation with them or be around them and that they need to be constantly reassuring you. That’s not what you want to convey, and it’s nobody else’s job but your own to validate and reassure yourself. People gravitate towards self confidence, not anxiety.

    Try this. Genuinely connect with people in real life e.g. ask how they are, their hobbies, interests, goals, opinions, etc. Listen and pay attention to what people say. Share those things about yourself when asked. People also subconsciously attach you to the value you bring. The value you bring is a clear, unique, and convincing reason why people will interact with you, let alone do so constantly. So Find ways to add value to their lives. Having In person interactions is the easiest way to stand out from countless people who text or message. People remember and favor in person interactions because of the positive vibes. If your hobbies, skills, talents align with their interests or can help them, bring it up and offer to help them. Finally, learn how to be genuinely busy in your life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while interacting with people on the side. People are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness and desperation and instead gravitate towards those who are self confident and well rounded in life. They want to see active confirmation of you actually doing something in your life other than just talking to them. So chase excellence, not people.

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