Help a lady out. I’ve had an active profile mostly since last January… I’ve had half a dozen or so first dates with two of those leading to second, third, etc. dates, but no relationships developed.
I don’t know what I’m missing, or what could get guys to engage with my profile? I don’t match guys who just like my photos on Hinge because that’s low effort… Hinge doesn’t do swipes and every time you like someone, you’re offered a text box for a short message. I also don’t match “beautiful” comments.
Plz be nice. I’ve been single since 2017 and I’m just trying to figure out how to con someone into cuddling me. š¤£
22 comments
I’d say it’s possible that you’re limiting your options based on your match criteria.
Very few of your photos give a good look at your face!
I would recommend some more without sunglasses or hat.
From your profile, itās easy to tell youāre an outdoor adventure gal.
That being said, the last few words of your post talk are hilarious! Trying to trick someone into cuddling.
You donāt really talk about the prospect of that kind of intimacy in your profile. Maybe adding it would get more interaction?
What kinds of dudes are matching with you? What are the reasons that they donāt get past the first/second date ?
Main photo should be clear face or body photo. No sunglasses, no hat, etc.
Lose the glasses so people can see your eyes
Come to me. Iāll cuddle you! š¤
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You seem like a catch to me!
I don’t know, you seem fun. you camp. It sounds like you get likes. You could reconsider your stance on not matching likes. You could always match and then see what they write then, I mean, I usually write something but how much “effort” can you really expect guys to put into a speculative foray? You could also try that “ask me about this..” type of prompt.
I think your profile’s great and gives a good overall sense of who you are and what your values are.
If you’re struggling to find compatible matches it might be because the overlap between “stoned yoga” and “Christian looking for a life partner” isn’t that large.
I’ll second everything everyone said about the photos -No more sunglasses, no cutesy sleeping bag pics. Also, most of the pics are of you at a distance… Close up pics, smile, a nice dress, but not necessary -Simple selfies will do!!
36m
The majority of your photos are too far away.
The first pic is just outright unflattering between the angle and the sunglasses.
Do you have photos doing something that isnt outdoor activites? I like nature and fitness, but it nakes you seem somewhat one dimensional.
I did like the simple pleasures prompt response
Think you need a broader range of photos. Couple of outdoors ones are fine but it almost seems like you live outdoors. Nothing wrong with that though but on a dating website best to have a wider range. Also why canāt you live in the U.K. šš
Iād swipe left because you only have one picture where I can clearly see what you look like. Good luck š
though I believe on standards and you like what you like, o reeeeaaaalllly believe that you are wildly limiting yourself by saying likes are too low effort. I think that often the person other other end isn’t putting thay same thought and you are likely truly limiting yourself.
If someone “likes” something of yours and then you “match” back in response and thennnnn wait to see if they reciprocate/respond with a message then sure okay…still a bit of a lack of equal/fair approach…however that’s how I’ve often approached it. You “match” and then see if there is a “higher effort” approach
I think your profile and photos are cute and show off who you are
You are getting matches, so we can’t just see a blanket problem with your profile that you need to change.
If you’re matching with people who aren’t working out, we need to know why they aren’t working out, or what you’re looking for and not finding, so we can comment/advise on how to tune up your profile to get the results you want.
Just say āhiā to likes. We donāt put in the effort to write a comment because 90% of the time there is no response. Such is the nature of online dating.
I think youāre gorgeous and your profile is great. I, personally, would find all the outdoor pics a turnoff for me because I feel tired just looking at them as it makes you seem very go go go. But I say that as a kinda lazy female who is more of a Pilates twice a week, then bars and movies kinda gal.
If youāre looking for a super active outdoor person then I think the pics work. If youāre open to someone a bit less into the outdoors you could consider adding in some pics that show another side to you?
I also second the comments re not matching people who like only. speaking with my guy friends who are on apps they pretty much all do this and theyāre awesome guys!
So everyone said the pictures but I have to agree. I like to tell people to have a bit of a checklist with pictures.
– at least one that shows your face clearly from shoulders up
– one doing an activity that you enjoy or saying something about what you like
– one dressed up
– one dressed down
– full body pic
I think you hit most of these but the problem is the full body pics are too far. If someone doesnāt dress up (or down) its fine but understand that if someone canāt see themselves in one of your photos, they probably will be deterred. I like to do both so if I see a profile and she is dressed to the nines in every picture, Iām probably gonna be weary.
Iād say your profile definitely gives a specific vibeā¦campy, outdoorsy, nature stuff. If that all you want to give, cool but it comes through in almost every picture and prompt.
In terms of the pictures I would try to add some versatility. Maybe since you have a headshot with you smiling, maybe one with less of a smile. Maybe a picture at home and not outdoors. And overall, ask yourself āwhat is this picture doing for me or saying about me?ā and hopefully thereās not too much overlap or redundancy.
On the not leaving a comment thing, I get where you are coming from but I think it might be a little too harsh. You are requiring a comment that is not centered around your looks. Now I will say that if I really like someoneās profile, I do try to leave a comment and I never comment on their looks. But Iāll also say that sometimes it is damn hard. I have to find something in their profile to engage with and not be corny or seem forced. Itās not really that easy. Luckily you didnāt answer your prompts with one word but still. Iād say maybe give a bit more grace.
The only pic of your face is in the worst possible lighting you can find. Idk if you ever wear make up and if you donāt then donāt post pics with makeup and then never wear it but you got to take a pic of your face with better lighting indoors. I have zero clue what half the stuff you mentioned in your profile are (city dweller ) but stoned yoga sounds like a individual activity and kudos for doing anything remotely exercisey with weed. You might want to delete that altogether. If you want to smoke with a partner I promise you he doesnāt want to do yoga. Think like a man , what would a man find appealing to do WITH you ? Get a blow out , fill in your brows and put on some lip gloss and show the other side of you in a pic.
Edit : And I totally agree that you are funnier on this post then your profile ā¦ please please say Iām just trying to trick someone into cuddling me somewhere in your profile .. thatās effen hilarious
Only one unobstructed face pic, and it’s not very flattering.
Ease up on the adventure pics, and put a few of you living the weekday life.
Christian stoner?
*Single since 2017*
*I donāt match guys who just like my photos*
*I donāt match guys who call me beautiful*
Uhhh I think the major issue here is you are too picky and your expectations are quite high?
while there may be a man who will one day write you a sonnet on hingeā¦holding your breath for that will have you single till 2027
How high effort does it have to be?? This is a dating site for goodness sake. Itās not a matchmaking service. You are asking someone to look at 4 pictures of your face then write you an essay?
your prompts are conversation stoppers. I feel like I just read an ad for Colorado. Not very interesting for dating but if I needed a tour guide, for sure.
Do you actually want to get to know another person? Are you sure?
Can you consider prompts that require another person to start a conversation? two truths and a lie, something that requires them to answer a question, or debating a topic. Etc
Your profile is great – sounds like you’re adventurous, active and have a great sense of humor!
To echo other comments, I think the 9th picture (ie with your face and smiling) or something similar should be the first picture.
I also noticed that in your “looking for” life partner you write commitment > convenience. I would drop the ” > convenience” bit and focus on adding some detail on what commitment looks like for you? E.g., monogamous, similar values and interested in discussing future hopes and dreams together!
good luck!