Hey, so I(20m) did not have many friends the whole time. But now i want to change that and be more social, and possibly get into a relationship. The problem is all this is kinda new to me. Even talking to girls, i never had any girls with whom I was friends with. So i decided to send this girl who was introduced to me by my friend in college a follow request on insta. She accepted the request and i started the conversation by commenting on her story. The problem is she did not seem interested and the conversation was dry from her side (i think so š). I sent her 6-7texts with continuous dry replies and that too she takes hours to reply. I dropped the conversation entirely after sometime. I want to know what I did wrong so that i can improve myself.
I’ve met this girl 4 times in college with a group friends. She seemed pretty chill with me. I don’t understand why this text went that way. While I’m not interested romantically with her, im using this as an opportunity to get some experience with girls.
While some may think she’s doesn’t like to text and prefers to call, I’ve seen my friends text her for hours and get instant replies many times.
I plan on sending screenshots of the convo via the chat feature on reddit. So if anyone is willing to help what I’m doing wrong it will be much appreciated.
Thanks
2 comments
Think about it this way. You want people to text/invite/connect with you, which is fine. But why should people text/invite/connect with you ? The truth is people subconsciously attach you to the value you bring to your interactions. In other words, there has to be a clear, unique, and convincing reason for people to reach out to you. People gather this from the quality of conversations you have with them. You reaching out or knowing them for a long time isnāt simply enough for them to reach out to you. You have to genuinely connect with them in person, be confident in expressing yourself in person, and bring positive vibes. Even better, find ways to add to peopleās lives. Maybe you have a skill, hobby, or talent that aligns with peopleās interests. Let them know about it. Offer to help people in some aspect of life. People respect those who impact their lives.
In general, people are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness and desperation. They gravitate towards somebody who is self confident and well-rounded in life. You need to focus on becoming genuinely busy in life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while learning how to interact with other people on the side. Find something you enjoy doing or are passionate for and keep doing it overtime. Find groups in your area who are also pursuing the same thing. Chase excellence, not people.
Could be she sees you as another guy āhitting onā her. Idk but SOME girls donāt like it when guys text too much at once. Makes it seem desperate on your behalf. I donāt think youāre doing anything wrong tho. Could be she not ready for something serious, she is already talking to someone, sheās not the flirt type or youāre not her type. Have you tried telling her your intentions?