Anxious about oral for the first time.

7 comments

1. No one does when they start, we all had to learn, simple as that. Assuming your partner knows that you haven’t before, and assuming he understands your anxiety, talk to him about it, turn it into a flirtatious or teasing conversation, then make it real. He knows what feels good for him, invite him to tell you, then practice on him.

2. Hmm this is more a psychology question. Do you think your partner will make fun of you if you do it wrong ? Or do you think he will be mean ?

   Think of it as what it is. Just another way to explore his manhood and give him pleasure.

   As far as the physical aspects of it go rather then me typing up a big thing here. Do a google search for “guide to a good blowjob”. There’s lots of good material there that addresses your concerns.

3. Just like everything else in a relationship, communication is key. There’s no better person to give you tips, advice, and expectations than your man.

   Go get on your knees and between his legs and give it your best shot – ask your dude how you’re doing or if he wants anything in particular while you bob on his shaft and work his length with your tongue… **but most importantly try to have fun doing** **it** 🙂

4. Been in this spot with a past gf who’d never done it.

   I just let her do her thing and would tell her what I liked or didn’t like and it was fine. It’ll take time but you’ll get there.

5. Here are some things I enjoy when receiving oral sex:

   • ⁠Doing circles round the head with their tongue.

   • ⁠Some light, I mean very light teeth scraping my shaft as my cock goes in and out of her mouth.

   • ⁠The wet lips as she works my shaft.

   • ⁠Her hand is playing with my balls.

   • ⁠A finger in my ass

   • ⁠Constant eye contact with me.

   • ⁠Finishing me

   • ⁠Kissing me afterwards with my cum still in her mouth with one of us swallowing the load (this is a personal preference)

6. Ask what he likes. For me I like lips and tongue around the head and shaft. I would also have lube available when you switch to your hand. Saliva dries quicker than lube. Another winner is to use the tips of your nails to gently stroke his balls.

7. Always ask your partner to communicate what they think feels best and what they personally like. The first time I went down on my bf he took a while to finish and now I can get him off in no time, and multiple times. We communicate a lot about what we like.

   With that being said, here are some tips. First of all, don’t go into a blow job with the idea of it being solely for his pleasure. It goes so much better if you’re into it too, and getting off on the idea of getting him off. It will relax you a lot more and you’ll be able to read his body language. Men and women are actually pretty similar with the way we orgasm. Start off slow and focusing on different areas, teasing a bit (especially the frenulum), before you go into the repetitive motion of actually sucking him off. All men are different but most seem to enjoy a combination of slow and fast, firm and gentle. But the tongue is super important. It feels good to them if your tongue is flat against the shaft as you go up and down, and you can even have the tip of your tongue graze up and down slightly quicker than your mouth goes up and down. It’s hard to describe. Make eye contact occasionally, when you feel comfortable to do so. It also helps to see his reaction and know if he’s enjoying what you’re doing. Once you feel him start to get extra hard continue doing whatever it is that you’re doing and really focus on maximizing the pleasure of your actions. Rubbing his balls will also make everything feel better. The first few times you give oral will be a learning experience and that’s okay. You’ll figure it out as you go and start to realize what he likes. I hope this helps! I remember being terrified too and it hindered the experience. Now we rarely start sex without it