( 25 f) graduated last year, currently unemployed, what do you do when you feel like a failure & so behind in life?

30 comments

1. that’s my secret. I always feel like a failure.

2. Get up when the alarm goes off and do stuff.

3. Find somebody worse off.

4. You just graduated op. Relax. Put your resume together and send it out.

5. Talk to other humans! So you’re on the right track there 🙂 being stuck in your own head is the worst. Talking to friends and/or family can help get you out of your mental rut and get you motivated. Full disclosure, I’m an extrovert so I need other humans to get my energy levels up :p

   Being a fresh grad sucks at the best of times, no more structure from school / uni and all your mates have gone in all directions.

   On the upside you’re young and don’t have many strings attached so you have a lot of freedom. The older you get the more other people depend on you so it’s harder to make spontaneous decisions. You can still do life changing things, it just takes so much more planning >.<

6. Start doing any type of work and look for a job in your profession
   (24m) finished my law studies and now I’m working with a bunch of idiots on security system
   But i fell much better

7. It’s important you compare yourself against your former self, not someone else.

8. When I was a young man in my early 20s, I struggled with lacking direction and feeling like a failure.

   Unless you know exactly what you want, give yourself time to figure out what you want. That could be a career, or city you want to move to, or whatever. For me, I just had to put one foot in front of the other.

   One thing I realized is adults don’t necessarily have all of our shit together, and that’s ok. Rather than dwelling on feelings of inadequacy, set reasonable goals like putting money into a 401(k), and focus on the long game. Eventually, things will feel more “normal” and you’ll be on your way to reaching that goals.

9. Look up YouTube: Amy Cuddy Ted Talk Fake it until you make it.

10. don’t lose hope and always believe that u can achieve anything u want

11. Stoicism is a great help. Worrying about your situation changes nothing (in fact, worrying generally makes everything worse). Identify steps you can take to improve your life and then take them. Calm heads prevail.

12. uhm, wrong subreddit?

13. I pick an exciting new job, find out the entrance requirements and set out to achieve them and get the job.

    The key word here is ‘exciting’, mind you.

14. I was doing odd jobs for a year after college. My first “professional” job was in an out staffing agency and paid maybe 15 bucks an hour, but once I got my foot in the door I started automating routines in excel for the fun of it and that gave me the first “real” offer. Also, this job gave me something to put on the resume so I was no longer looking for a first-time employment. So I guess just pursue opportunities that give you something to do and learn regardless of income and continue actively recruiting (consider volunteering or unpaid internships as well)

15. Depending on your degree, update your resume with a few soft skills and start job hunting and don’t sell yourself short. Job market is hot right now

16. Im 30, and going back to school, looked at from a societys standpoint ive been a looser for years, and certainly behind in life. The trick is to find some sort of true self love and worth. We have 1 chance to do what we want in life, what others think doest really matter. When you start to think in those ways life becomes a lot more relaxed and laid back, you start to figure out what matters to you truly.

    If your 25, not sure what to do, id say go through a few countries ( depending where you live). Get out of your comfort zone. Learn who you are to the core and accept it on good and bad terms.

17. I’ll tell you a story:

    A Japanese martial arts instructor had an American student who trained with him in Japan. After a few years, the American student left but wanted to share his knowledge with people back in America. His teacher encouraged him to do just that.
    After a while, the American class has a good number of students and the original American student invites his Japanese teacher over to teach the class. The Japanese teacher accepts, but there’s a problem. The Japanese teacher does not speak English and does not have much time to learn, and dies not want to just rely on his student to translate.

    So Japanese teacher finds an English tutor. The tutor suggests as time is limited, they should only focus on key phrases. In Japanese, he asks the instructor what are the most important instructions he must give a student to succeed. The tutor expected words like “throw” or “strike”. Instead the Japanses martial arts teacher said the most important words he needed to communicate to a student were these:

    _Keep going_

    Thats the secret. Its okay to feel flat sometimes, in fact that can be normal. But keep going and you’ll get there.

    Also I know it’s hard but stop comparing yourself to anyone. You have accomplished a lot. Getting though higher education during a pandemic is an incredible achievement.

    Practice gratitude in the morning too. It really helps. Like Tony Robbins says, you cannot really feel negative and truly grateful at the same time. Visualize something in your past you are truly grateful for, then Visualize something you hope to be grateful for in the future (like a goal you want to achieve).

    He explains it here

    https://youtu.be/N6dEz2UNcOQ

18. If I may provide a perspective coming from experience.

    Your life, your goals, your dreams aren’t obtained in a sprint but rather a marathon.

    Finishing school and obtaining an education isn’t the final part of the race. It’s only the training for the race ahead.

    Life is full of setbacks and you can call them failures if you want but the truth is those setbacks are every bit as important learning experiences if not more so than any formal education you might obtain.

    The analogy I provided of a race is actually incorrect by the way.

    Your not in a race. You’re on a journey.

    And no matter how well you think you’ve mapped out the paths you are going to make some wrong turns that lead to dead ends.

    Even those experiences have an accumulating value although it doesn’t feel like it at the time.

19. Put one foot in front of the other. Start by getting a job serving or bartending etc. you’ll meet lots of folks and get out of the house and start earning some cash

20. I might come off as harsh or rude but stop feeling sorry for yourself, get yourself an objective and start working towards it.

    I also graduated later in life and felt that exact same way. Things only got better when I quit whining about how ppl my age were better off and started to work on my future. I’m getting there.

21. You will be fine, you’re doing great to even graduate.

22. I’d say compare yourself to your past. If you compare yourself to others, you will become either vain or bitter for always there will be lesser or greater people than yourself.

    I try to look at the trend line of my life. Even though I’m not where I want to be. My life is in an upward trend.

23. I graduated in 2011 and have worked retail since. That feeling you describe will be with me for life

24. go work out

25. #keep trying and you shall succeed

26. Establish a morning routine. Get up early, like 6:00am. Work out. Shower, shave, get dressed, make your bed. Keep your home clean and organized.

    Read 15 minutes of personal development each day. Or listen to a podcast or audiobook.

    Drink at least 100oz of water a day. Eat healthily.

    Do not give in to slothfulness—too much sleeping, eating crap, watching TV.

    Write out your goals: long- and short-term. Then write out the steps needed to get there for each one. (Find your “why”). There are lots of resources online to help you hone these.

    What is your degree in? What type of job(s) are you interested in? Does your college have a career center? If so go there and use it! Update your resume. Apply for jobs.

    In your free time, because doing the above will not take up ALL the hours in a day, do something you enjoy or something you think you might enjoy. This is a time to grow and explore. Do something cultural that’s available near where you live. Find something you’re interested in and find a group pertaining to that to become involved with. It can be anything. Build a social life.

    Stay away from drugs and too much alcohol.

27. Did you fail at something?

    It sounds like you have a degree and are looking for a job. That doesn’t make you a failure, it just makes you looking for a job. So cast a wider net and try to get hired. Be willing to try a job that may not exactly fit your qualifications, companies hire people like that all the time. I don’t know why you feel behind in life, you are only 25. Just focus on finding a career, you will eventually get hired, try that job out, get some experience, and if you want a different job/don’t like that one, then try to get another job, and this time you will have more experience to add to your resume/cv.

28. Well.. you have to be positive more than negative.

    You’re a recent grad. So your skill set in the actual useable work force is probably 0 to none. Mass apply to jobs. Pay someone to do your resume if you don’t know how to do your own already. Network.

    A lot of the jobs you’re going to get are from who you know not what you know. I’m sure somewhere down the line you met people who either work at a good company and can put in a word for you.. sometimes your professors can also be a good help.

29. Got my first office job at 24 after searching for 2 years at $38k a year. Fast forward a few hops and 11 years later I’m in the same line of work making $270k a year. Things work out if you persist

30. You’re only 25… Amy girlfriend graduated in sociology at 27 and couldn’t find a job. She went back to school for Human Resources and now has a good job at 29.