I started seeing this guy. He has seemed pretty keen so far in terms of contacting me a lot/ sending voice notes etc. I like him enough so far, find him interesting/there’s attraction, but still getting to know him/ figure him out. But one thing that I find actually off-putting is that he seems to regularly go to Rome on holiday (by plane). He doesn’t have friends or relatives there, but just claims he really loves it there. Recently he went twice for a weekend, only 2 weeks apart (so frequent!) I asked him if he knows anyone there, and he said there was one person he met who he texts every so often when there, but doesn’t meet. He said he has gone with 2 different friends each time, but he has been a whole load of times, like maybe 8-10 times since first going a couple of years ago (and does not go other places much). Do you think he has a girlfriend/some sort of lover there? I wonder if I should ask? I honestly can’t imagine going so regularly to one place, unless you had someone there. He’s kind of a workaholic as well, so it’s not like he’s just very leisurable. The idea of it puts me off him, and I wonder if I should just drop him. I haven’t seen him long (just 3 dates), but he’s very keen with me. What do you think??
TLDR: dated guy who regularly goes to a particular city despite no friends or relative there. Wondering if he has a girlfriend there, and how I should approach this?
5 comments
He goes with his homies. If I was going to see a lover I wouldn’t bring my friends.
Where are you located, and how is his income? Not too bizarre if he is in Europe and affluent.
Just 3 dates & you’re overthinking. Have you become exclusive? Both of you expressed/ exchanged feelings?
Perhaps, he loves that place and feels at home?
Wait for some time & next time you have a 4th date, casually ask if there’s a girlfriend & study face expression.
Ask to go with him next time, and be prepared to buy your own ticket. If he comes up with excuses as to why you can’t or shouldn’t, then I’d start thinking something’s up. But for now, doesn’t seem that fishy. Did this before you, and just may be a getaway. I had my go off to places that I continued to do when I started a new relationship, but then slowly quit going since I did now have a partner.
>I honestly can’t imagine going so regularly to one place, unless you had someone there.
Time to expand your imagination, then! You’re thinking very narrowly.
For real, Rome is the one city in Europe my husband LOVES going to. He’s been there with his family as a kid, with a study abroad group in college, and with me on our honeymoon. And I can understand why, between the art and the food! I definitely want to go back, and if I were in Europe that’d probably be my weekend trip of choice.
>He’s kind of a workaholic as well, so it’s not like he’s just very leisurable.
Idk I think this makes sense. Probably helps him to unwind by being in a city with a leisurely attitude.