We had been dating for 9 months now, and she feels like it’s proper time to move in and live together.
However in these past 9 months she has been prioritizing pretty much everything above us time.
I tried talking with her about that, but she just brushed me off as being needy. So I just decided to let her arrange her schedule as she pleases and…
She is spending a lot of time with her friends, she is spending more time with her ex then with me. And our time together seems more like a filler for when she doesn’t have anything else to do. Most of the time she does call me is when she needs something, and not when she want’s to hang out.
Usually we spend maybe two or three hours together per week, and half of that is being alone with her. Sometimes we don’t have any alone time for two weeks.
Once I start “getting cold” she suddenly finds time to be with me, and as soon as I get “warmed up” again, off she goes.
So although we are dating for 9 months I feel like we haven’t spent enough time together, and I feel like she is not committed enough. I don’t feel like letting her move in.
I actually feel like ending this.
So do you think that I am being needy?
And, do you think that this is salvageable, or I should just move on?
9 comments
>she is spending more time with her ex then with me.
Yeeeaaaaa, this right here is a nah from me dog
I’d sooner end the relationship. In saying that, you should legitimately end the relationship. Moving in with her shouldn’t even be a consideration.
End it bro. You are a side piece she is still banging the EX.
You seem reasonable. Go with your gut instincts. Any time you ignore your intuition, it’s a mistake!
“She feels like it’s proper time to move in and live together”
Translation: She feels it’s time for you to pay her bills. Has how much she would pay in rent/utilities come up?
She dorks know time with her ex? Maybe you should dump her, and she’ll spend more time with you. Dignity dude, dignity
Your third line summed up a massive problem. You brought up a genuine concern and she refused to take responsibility and then blame shifted it back to you as you having issues of “needy”. In fact it is perfectly normal to want someone to want to spend time with you. To prioritise somewhat spending time together.
You stepped back to watch the show and got exactly what you where talking about, you are not a priority in her life.
If you feel like ending it, then just do that. I would predict that she will say you are overdramatic, over thinking and that it isn’t a big deal. That you will naturally spend more time together when she moves in and not to worry about it, that things will change when she moves in.
Predictibly all conversations will be on the same plan that you are too needy and that she needs her space, that you are controlling her etc etc.
Find someone who is actually into you and you really feel loved and cared for.
9 months is too soon to move in together and given how badly the relationship is going, it sounds like a terrible idea.
Is she having money trouble? I’m guessing you are going to be dismissed as too needy when you ask her to do her fair share of chores or her share of rent.
Ask he if she’s up for a once a week FWB arrangement