This is the place to share your shower thoughts on dating. Get as meta as you want here, within the rules.

25 comments

  1. I’m starting to realize I’m romantically awkward. I struggle to pick up signals of interest or assume there is interest when there isn’t.

    I don’t get crushes too often. Maybe three legitimate crushes over the last decade. Hello butterflies in the pit of my stomach. The most recent woman I’m crushing over, met her week and half ago. I don’t know if she’s being friendly because of our common interest or she’s flirting.

    I’ve started to think I’m doomed to be single the rest of my life because of my inability to read signs.

  2. Why are so many men only wanting to chat about boring stuff? I can’t take it anymore. STOP showing me pictures of random products from some convention you went to or telling me about your stupid poster collection. I don’t care. Interests like that are fine but do nothing to drive a connection forward.

    I’m trying to exchange selfies and start seeing if we can have physical attraction and sexual compatibility, and you refuse to send me a selfie? And instead want to send me a million pics of some castle you visited once? UGH

    I’m starting to see why some women answer the dick pic guys. At least they’re not boring. At least they actually want to fuck us. FUCK

    sorry /rant

  3. I went on a 4th date with a guy from hinge and he was SO nasty to the server that I never want to see him again in my life. Previously he was really nice and kind to people at restaurants. I was so turned off and disgusted. I feel like I’ve grown so much since I was an insecure 20 year old. Before I’d have made excuses and said wow maybe he’s having a bad day, etc. But there is no excuse for being an asshole.

    The situation is kind of complicated now since this same man got me pregnant on accident (a very bizarre and uncomfortable thing to deal with tbh). He hasn’t been as kind or caring toward me during this traumatic event. Dude hasn’t called to check on me once after terminating. Absolute douche.

  4. I have a date coming up. He asked me out—going good. Swapped numbers to get away from OLD chat—still good. Haven’t heard from him since—not a good move. Not sure if I really want to go on the date now.

  5. I feel like there’s role reversal that’s happened. It seems to me like ladies are the ones who only care about sex nowadays. Guys are looking more for companionship and I’ve found a lot women find it disgusting. How ironic is this?? It seems like the power of seduction has lost its potency. Maybe mainstream acceptance of hardcore porn? Guys are so used to seeing raunchy stuff regularly that sex just isn’t that big of a deal anymore? Just some thoughts, and I know these are MY opinions and Not fact. Just would like to hear others opinions.

  6. I deleted that I have a PhD from my dating profile as it completely killed all my conversations. Everyone just wanted to discuss my research topic! 🤣🔬👩🏻‍🔬

  7. Got surprised with concert tickets this morning from my guy. I saw a band we both love announce a new tour for this summer, and sent him the info when he was sleeping. He woke up, came into the room I was working in & told me he bought us tickets to see them. I was so surprised, as I wasn’t expecting anything by sending him the link, I just wanted him to know they announced a tour. Such a sweet gesture & I needed to post about it somewhere 🙂

  9. Planning my wedding and its a bit of work but honestly I can’t wait to get married. The actual wedding is definitely exciting but the thought of sharing it with my SO and having our married life together is just so amazing. I am almost scared to let myself feel the joy completely, dont want to jinx anything.

  10. I’m having a frustrating issue with self image and sex. Every time intimacy comes up in a relationship it seems like the person makes a complete turn around and rejects me once the deed is done. Its not like I’m rushing or misleading these people, but once the first 1-3 encounters happen they suddenly don’t want anything to do with me. Blah.

  11. I (37F) matched with someone (39M) January 23.

    Feb 5 I decide to send 1st message, cos I was deleting matches who I haven’t spoken to. He replies quite quickly and we have a nice back and forth.

    3 days later we switch to text and set up a date for the following week.

    Day before date I check in re: time and he says she’s super busy in work and am I ok meeting at 9pm or would I rather push to following week. I say I’m happy to push it out, rather than him being under pressure. He’s very appreciative of my flexibility.

    We continue to message a little, but no rescheduled date is proposed his end. He text me Saturday morning and I replied, but since then silence (he was away at the weekend but back now)

    Obviously we’ve never met, I shouldn’t be disappointed, but I am. We seemed to have an easy banter, right amount of flirting/compliments etc. We’d discussed how direct we both are, say it as it is etc.

    I’m so tempted to message and try reschedule once more before abandoning, but I know everyone will say ball in his court and I’ll appear desperate..sigh

  12. So big question, does the fact my ex’s parents want to lease me land so I can stay in my state, close to my daughter make me less date-able? Little bit of insight my ex and I were together for 10 years her parents consider me pretty much one of their children. They don’t want me to move so I can see my daughter more and they want to do this for me. I’m wondering would that hinder finding someone to be with?

  13. I’m seriously so fucking over dating and being single and thinking I’ll actually meet someone.

    I’ve been single a long time, a lot of things that didn’t work out, I kept trying. I moved to a big city, was excited about it all. Went on dates who I wasn’t into or they just wanted to hook up.

    Well this year I went on 3 dates with a cute guy who supposedly wanted the same things as me then he ghosted. Then I went on a first date with someone else and was actually really into them too! Went on a second date, it was really good. Then after what do you know, he’s answering less, and still messaging on the app instead of texting even tho I gave my number. I even said something because I feel I’m not great at showing interest, but then he replied and acted like he was still interested and said he’d find out when he had time this week. Well no answer for the past two days and I also know he’s been on the app because his distance changed. Is it really SO HARD to be honest????? If you’re clearly not interested then don’t say anything like you are.

  14. Getting ghosted can be traumatic and cause issues in further connections. I’m still recovering.

  15. Dipped my toes into the pool this weekend. An interesting experience. Set a coffee date with a guy who seemed to have a lot of anxiety about the concept of dating someone, which was — an orange flag at best, I’d think, but. The date itself was pretty laughable, but I’m proud that I didn’t take it personal. Because I would have, even just a few months ago! Gave him a hug at the end and wished him well on his dating journey.

    Last night I ended up spending in a hotel – not for anything fun, ya gutters, just thanks to random travel on Valentine’s! – and I enjoyed a steak at the bar, eavesdropping on other people there for the same reason I was. It was a low-key night and I have no real regrets over not having had a person to spend it with.

    With all that said… I think I’m ready to feel alive again. I feel like I learned how to survive on my own last year, and how to find comfort in my own solace since the holidays. I can’t wait for this cold weather to be over. I am cautiously optimistic on what I’ll conquer in the rest of 2022. 🙂

  16. Went on a second date yesterday, sort of ran the gamut of emotions.
    For whatever reason I’m veeeeery sensitive initially to having a “romantic setting” – we had to walk from a closed bar to an open bar and it felt so awkward. I felt like I made a mistake going out.

    Then I was able to relax after drinking but I get tipsy soooo quickly now. He asked me out on a date after and I asked him in a too-rambling message if he was married to his beard and he said no and I said haha gotcha. (More or less anyway.)

    I purposefully haven’t reached out after that bc I feel like so much of our communication/meeting so far has been prompted by me. Especially when he told me he really hasn’t dated much, I wondered whether he was actually interested in me or whether he just liked me because I ask a lot of questions and made him feel like he was interesting. The lack of follow up seems to confirm.

    I guess I’ll see what happens. Not opposed to meeting up again but I kinda feel like I just got caught up in hormones and hope or something. Having to initiate everything is just a mood killer… as is the beard so idk.

  17. Getting used to and accepting the social oddities that come with dating (at least for me). Particularly, that you can invest time into someone over a few dates and weeks of chatting only to decide they’re not for you and never talk to them again. I’ve just never moved that fluidly through social relationships. This feels very strange, but staying relaxed and open about it without guilt or expectations seems to be the way to go.

  18. Why guys do not fall in love with me?.

    I have dated so many guys during last two years. Some seemed really into me thay whenever l talk about them , my friends comment like,” wow he is really into you” but most of the time they don’t progress because probably they don’t fall in love with my personality.

    I know l am attractive, successful, and with a great life experience while living 4 different countries. I am actually a very nice girl…maybe just too nice and polite most of the time!

    I just received this call from this last guy l was seeing. I really liked him. I thought that this would be a good match but he was thinking otherwise. He said that he doesn’t see this long term as he is not falling in love with me. He said that we matched and had the chemistry but he does not feel that it is love.

    It is 4am, and l could not sleep a minute

  19. Shower thought—are all these people who didn’t acknowledge Valentine’s day (while dating someone) afraid that acknowledging the day is like saying “I love you” and they’re feeling some anxiety over whether they’re ready to say that (or risk being interpreted that way)? 🤔

  20. Why do guys already losing interest in me but still text me daily ?! He no longer initiate our next meeting but say stuff like : let’s do XYZ/ we need to do XYZ. Weird

  22. Started talking to someone but I wasn’t really feeling it. Told myself to keep an open mind, maybe I was making assumptions and writing him off too quickly. Tonight he brings up sex and I know I don’t want to talk about that with him. Unmatched.

    Maybe I’m not ready but I wish I was.

  23. we perpetually only want people who we can’t have. there is always disbalance in relationships where one person is clearly more into it then the other one. it feels like a cruel joke of the universe and it makes me not even want to try anymore. i’m either not going to find him hot or he’ll feign romance and i think it’s mutual until he gets laid enough and gets bored.

    if anyone has advice to break out of this cycle of thinking..?

  24. I don’t know how to get started on dating. To start with, I believe I may be autistic. I don’t much enjoy meeting new people. I prefer having an idea of someone prior to meeting.

    I had 1.5 years of booze-fueled dating well back in college, got into a long term relationship. Halfway through I broke up with him. This was late twenties. I attempted online dating at the time, and got asked out a few times during my job (bartender then), but didn’t actually date anyone. We got back together. Ended again last year. Since then, I tried dating apps again. Had a few good conversations, most were trash. Never actually met anyone due to social anxiety, and one guy I would have ghosted me.

    Began dating a guy I sort of knew over the summer, it went out in a blaze of glory (actually, started hot and heavy, then he dumped me for his ex). I kind of at a loss now for dating. I try using apps, but I’m just not interested enough into anyone I talk to there. I feels like job searching. I work from home with no hobbies that take me out of the house. How on earth do you meet someone worth putting effort into getting to know?

  25. I’m (32f) open to starting meeting people, I want to try meeting people in real life not OLD. I’ve been single 3 years and I haven’t even had a conversation with a man let alone anything else. I just don’t feel very confident, when I go out no one ever approaches me which makes me think i must not be attractive. But then because of this, I think I am so unattractive, if a guy did approach me I would think he was joking with me or messing around. Not really sure how to shake this. I’m doing what I can to help build my confidence I’ve lost 17lb since new year but I don’t feel any different. I’m going out into town in a couple of weeks I’m going to make myself talk to people.

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