My husband told me that I turn him off when I initiate sex but rarely initiates it himself. It gets me down, especially since having our baby in January. I’m especially self conscious as he has cheated in the past.

We had a huge argument about it yesterday after I tried to voice my concern, he got extremely angry. He says I should just deal with it. He insists that his sex drive is the same (he watches porn) and does not have any physical or mental health problems. He called me a selfish bitch.

I ended up having a mental breakdown and anxiety attack due to other stressors combined with this issue. He filmed me during this to “protect himself”

Also dealing with the fact that I may have borderline personality disorder, so I’m not sure whether my concerns are rational or not.

I feel extremely down, I also feel really embarrassed that I broke down. He called me childish while this was happening. I’m staying at my mums for a few days.

Just venting here.

Tl;dr husband doesn’t want me sexually, had a mental breakdown. Feeling extremely embarrassed about this.

7 comments

  2. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. To be honest, if my partner cheated on me, called me a bitch, filmed me whilst I cried, and constantly disregards my feelings even after I gave birth to their child… don’t think I’d stick around. But if you’re adamant to stay, then couples counseling might be an option. Just remember you deserve respect and dignity.

  3. He called you a B? I have never called a woman I care for that, if I did, certainly I would never sleep with them again. I am sorry. 100% lame. Calling you a B for wanting to have sex with him? I mean….

  4. Wow…your the childish one?!?! He’s behaviour s disgusting.
    You’ve had a baby, your hormones are all over the place as it is. (Ive had 3 kids so i know how you feel!) Your in your right to feel this way.
    He sounds like a horrible human.
    You say he’s cheated in the past? Once a cheater always a cheater.
    He’s the one with the problem not you. I hope you are okay.
    I’m going to be brutally honest, I’d leave him, your worth so much more than him, what he’s doing to you is mental abuse.

  5. Your husband is a narcissist. Having BPD makes you a target of narcissists. I don’t mean to be dramatic but really consider if this is what you want.

  6. Ok let me get this straight? He called you childish while he’s the one preferring to watch porn instead of actually having sex with you?? while he’s the one recording you to protect himself? and gets angry simply because you voice your concerns? he’s the one that sounds childish. And please do not feel bad that you broke down. It is normal to break down when something affects us badly. Damn, I even feel I would have a break down if I were in your situation!

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