How do you make eye contact? Help

12 comments

1. Wait making eye contact is weird? I mean it can be creepy if you stare into their soul but just calm regular eye contact is probably fine

2. I sometimes find it hard to look into the eyes of someone who I have a crush on so I think I understand what you’re going through. It is bit hard at first but just have try practicing eye contact, there’s just no other way. Try to build up some confidence. You can also practice making eye contact with a friend of yours.

3. I had a friend when I was younger, she was first misdiagnosed with Autism. Her brother had Autism so they must have just assumed, later she was properly diagnosed with BPD. That said, she did teach me something that helps me sometimes – I’m recently diagnosed Autistic myself and I also struggle with mental illness. She told me to look at people’s foreheads. She explained that it’s close enough to their eyes that they think you’re making eye contact, but *you* know you’re not exactly staring them dead in the eye. This doesn’t always help me, but sometimes. Also, I try to consciously remind myself that more than likely the other person may not notice. Am I lying to myself? Maybe, but if it helps, hey. If it’s people close to me, I’ve actually explained to them that eye contact is hard for me. My boyfriend is also mentally ill so struggles with this sometimes still (he needs a lot of attention so wants eye contact), but when people care enough about you, they’ll deal. Also, most of my friends are unusual too, so that really helps. If you’re interacting with a stranger and just trying to buy something at the store or whatever you’ve got to do, I just push myself to get through it. Many days I’m so anxious doing something mundane like buying something from the store, I’ll usually glance at the cashier and feel like I’m looking awkward but will even just pretend to look at something on my phone to avoid conversation. Maybe it seems rude but it’s what makes me feel safe and comfortable. Maybe you do stare into people’s souls, and that’s fine. I’ve met people that had really beautiful eyes and extremely intense gazes and scared the hell out of me at first because they were definitely staring into my soul. After I got to know them it was actually nice though because clearly they could tell what kind of person I am. So, again, when people like you they’ll accept it. Our strange qualities make us unique and there are people who will appreciate that, even if many don’t get it.

   Hopefully my heartfelt 7am rambling helps you.

4. By looking at a person’s eye. That’s how I do it ☺️.

5. Also, does anyone else struggle making eye contact only with the same gender? As a guy, I can make eye contact with women I’m interested in all day long, but ask me to hold decent eye context with my male friends and I’m completely lost.

6. Don’t worry about eye contact. Look at their whole face. That relaxes your eyes. Keep a soft smile.

7. I think the method that I learned was to look in their eyes but try to focus on their forehead slightly above their eyes every few seconds so you’re not just staring

8. When I was trying to nail how much time to spend on direct eye contact I approached it with this warm fondness for seeing what color a person’s eyes are. That would be my baseline to follow unless I was feeling very calm and interested in what someone is saying. After that you switch to looking at a different part of their face.

9. Try mdma.
   Its like a confidence boost

10. There are no hard and fast rules for this. The more you practice, the easier it will get.

11. I don’t make good eye contact while I’m speaking, but I can when I am listening. Just practice, but it’s not the end of the world 🙂

12. Biggest thing to remember is blinking, if you are just not blinking it gets weird otherwise it’s, in my experience anyway, just etiquette.