I’ve never been the quiet, lonely kid, though I’ve always had a certain shyness and timidity. I’m known as fun, witty and all that.
Yet people always call me “nice, chill, calm” etc. Despite all my talk, humor and fun, once they spend 5 minutes with me, they recognize I’m naturally held back. Lots of people actually compliment me in being chill. But I hate that.
My interests and sense of humor actually indicate an intense, jumpy, manic personality. But even when I’m super talkative and making jokes at and with people with my most ironic attitude, people can still see through it all and call me calm. Though I had a time when they didn’t.
I did theatre in high school. I realized it later but when I was acting, I had the most comfortable persona: the way I moved my body, the look in my eyes, the sound of my voice, how I move around and talk to people. It was almost like I was the master of my own body and environment. Nobody back then called me calm or nice. In fact, people perceived me as that intense personality I so desired to be. It was my peak, socially. I loved myself, people were attracted to me etc.
Then I got into college and now I’m this “calm, nice guy” with sense of humor who’s nice to be around. Add to that me studying literature and now I’m a stereotype.
I can’t join a theatre team currently, so I don’t know what to do to let my body, my voice, my eyes to be comfortable and energetic like they were. When I had that persona, I didn’t think it was something I could lose. What can I do?
1 comment
Join a theater group! If your college is in a city, look in the city.
Or maybe join toastmasters. Or you could take martial arts, just to move your body a lot in complex ways. You could also do tai chi which would have you practicing moving fluidly on a regular basis.
Or get some balls and practice juggling. Just something to get your body engaged in complex, skillful physical action. Something you can get smoother and smoother at.