Now don’t get me wrong. I love my GF and find her stunningly beautiful but I just am not able to show her that. Basically she doesn’t feel “wanted” or desired by me.
I thought I was able to show her that but it seems like the opposite. So I’m searching for advice here.
How do you guys show your Significant Other how much you desire them?
11 comments
My husband is very conventionally attractive and he knows it. I’m extremely attracted to him but to show him just how much, I make sure I put in a lot of effort in spicing things up in the bedroom. Sometimes with lingerie, sometimes with doing special things that I know he likes, but I always try to switch things up and keep it interesting. Good luck!
Be excited everytime to see her, compliment specific things about her, and make a real effort to do things for her
Press her gently against the wall and give her a kiss (more than a peck) every once in awhile.
Whisper in her ear when you’re out in public about how attractive she is and how lucky you are to have her
Write her notes and leave them for her to find when you have a sexy thought about her when she’s gone.
Ask her, it doesn’t hurt. Tell her that the way you show love and attraction isn’t the way she responds to, which is 100% normal, and ask her what she responds to. Is it physical affection? Is it gestures? Is it words? Love notes? Sending memes? Tell her you want to show her how much you want her in a way she can respond to, and if you have the general idea you can make it more personal.
For example, I would send my partner cute images of cats being cute together, and say “us”. I thought it was obvious what I meant, but he didn’t get it. When I told him why I did that, he understood and even sent some that he found.
Communication, in my opinion, is the best way to show someone you want and care for them. Be open minded, don’t get defensive. Think of it as you love chocolate and so you give her the best pieces of chocolate, however she prefers strawberry and doesn’t see the importance of your gesture. It means so much to you, but it isn’t her thing. These are normal, they’re known as love languages. I’m sure you mean more in a NSFW way, which communication there can be a bit more difficult, however I’m sure if you tell her that you want to do your best to express how you feel in a way she likes, that alone will let her know you’re serious.
There is nothing wrong with how you express yourself, and there is nothing wrong with what she responds to. You’re basically building a bridge here! I think it’s sweet that you’re asking for help, and I hope you get good advice.
Surprise her with small things. Get her her favourite snacks. Buy her flowers. Send her cute messages while you’re out during the day. Cook her favourite meal. Learn about her favourite things. Watch the movie she wants to watch, even if its legally blonde and you aren’t interested. Hug her or kiss her when she least expects it. Remind her how stunning you think she is. Sing along badly to her favourite songs with her. Dance around the kitchen with her. Do the things she loves to do. Take pictures with her, or of her, just because she makes you happy. Call her pretty even if she is wearing her comfy pyjamas.
Be specific and explicit. She can’t read your mind. If she’s wearing something that turns you on, tell her that. Or if she does something that turns you on, tell her that. Text her that she’s on your mind and that you can’t wait to see her. The little things make a difference. This stuff happens outside the bedroom. If you wait to tell her these things when you want to get laid, it ain’t going to work for her.
Or just ask her what she wants you to do? What her love language is? We don’t know your gf. Some people want touch some want little post it notes and flowers.
Be more affectionate like say I love you more often. Say how sexy she is. How she’s the sexiest woman in the world sort of thing. Never let her forget she’s special to you and you‘re down to play whenever she is. Give her kisses, hugs, pats on the butt (if she is fine with those), back rubs, and whisper in her ear how you want her some time. Stuff like that with following her feedback if she doesn’t like something or loves something else. Try new things and follow her feedback for what works best for her.
Figure out each of your “love language” and go from there. You may be trying to physically show her you crave her and really she just needs words of affirmation or vice versa.
I honestly always thought it was bullshit. But, it’s crazy how much your love language factors into so many different aspects of your relationship. Good luck!
Do you know her love language? Early in my marriage I was really focused on telling my wife how beautiful she was and how into her i was and it was falling flat and I was getting irritated because I felt I was putting in the effort but it turned out words were my thing, not hers. She’s into touch and that’s what makes her feel loved and desired, cracking that code changed our relationship.
ask her what her love language is, or try learn it on ur own