When my GF (24) and I (m 26) started dating 8 months ago, we had a good sex life, a fun dating life, and just an overall good energy etc etc. We both work in the service industry and both like to go out and enjoy ourselves at bars and restaurants. She told me that she had a high sex drive when we first started dating which I thought was great, since me and my former gf had mismatched sex drives. This was a welcome change. Slowly as we moved further and further into our relationship, she has told me “I am just not as sexual or as affectionate as you”. This has been a recurring conversation. She doesn’t feel that I am as considerate of a partner, although I have been trying to improve and perform acts of service for her, as that is her major love language. Tonight we had a very serious conversation because this morning, I tried to initiate sex for the first time in almost a week and she said “I’m not in the mood” which is totally fine. I accepted obviously, and we went about our day. She told me later in the car that she was just feeling “on edge”. Today I was my usual level of affectionate
With her, but when we got home and I tried to kiss her on the cheek casually, she told me she wasn’t in the mood for that, and that “I should have known she wasn’t in an affectionate mood”. This spiralled into the recurring conversation that neither of us are having our needs met, but we do love each other. I don’t know what to do. She definitely seems to be at her wits end and said, “I don’t want to keep having this conversation again.” And that she doesn’t want either of us to feel like we’re “not being ourselves around each other”. I totally understand what she’s saying. Should we break up? Is this a deal breaker? Are we not compatible? I am at a loss.