I (28f) have been with my boyfriend (23m) for a while now, and things are great. We have similar interests, are in the same life stage, and are on the same page about big-picture things such as when to have kids. However, several people have still made jokes/comments about the fact that I’m older than him. Our age difference doesn’t bother us, but it bothers me when people say these things because I feel like it implies my value as a woman is tied to my age or that our relationship is somehow wrong. I know most people don’t mean offense, but I still want to be able to ‘stand up’ for our relationship and myself when they say these things. What are some funny/witty comebacks I could use to highlight that these comments are inappropriate? Specifically, I’m hoping for responses to the following comments:
– calling me a cradle robber
– calling me a cougar
– asking inappropriate questions about how we’re going to plan for kids because my biological clock is ticking
– asking if I’m worried he’ll eventually leave me for someone younger
– literally calling me old lol
Thanks in advance!
19 comments
Have you tried, “Fuck off. It’s none of your business, asshole” ?
If a man has gf younger than him, man gets a pat on the back? Then if its us women, were deemed as cougars. Respond with a dirty finger, they deserve it
Jokes like that need a straight faced answer.
Tell them you don’t get it and ask them to explain it, they either will shut up or awkwardly explain to which you day: ‘yeah, I still don’t get it’. Then quickly change the conversation.
Five years is nothing and as time passes, it means even less. When someone says something just ask in all seriousness, “Why are you so obsessed with our age difference?” If they say they are joking around, tell them jokes are supposed to be funny.
Ask the person harassing you what the age difference is between their parents or grandparents. Ask them if they’re going to start saying the same to them, or if it’s just a sexism thing because the gender roles in this age gap are reversed.
1. Considering women have a greater life expectancy I’m just planning ahead so we die at the same time.
2. I think you need to brush up on your terminology…I’m not even old enough to be considered a puma
3. It seems you may listen to too many QAnon conspiracies….there is something called science…..
4. I’m sorry you live in a world where you can’t trust your partner
5. I think if you recall highschool…..old starts at 30
Ask them what they mean. It’s only “funny” so long as you get the joke.
“What cradle? Oh. Why would you say that? It’s only 5 years.” Etc.
I think saying nothing is usually the best response but I don’t really understand a 28 yr old and 23 yr old being on the same page /in the same life stage.most 23 yr Olds will change what they want/think in the next few years as they learn who they are as an adult.
There are of course exceptions but for the avg 28 yr old and avg 23 yr old there’s a lot of adulting that happens in between.
If you’re happy then just enjoy it! Nothing wrong with an age gap with two consenting adults in a healthy relationship
I dated someone 5 years younger than me, I always responded with humor when someone made a comment about the age gap. We as a couple didn’t cared about other people comments so al depends on you how much importance you want to give them. As long you two are happy, doesn’t matter what other thinks.
Don’t rise to it. It might embarass your boyfriend, and make it look like you are insecure about it.
Just don’t acknowledge it. Completely ignore it. Like you didn’t hear what they said.
If the joke was made with no ill will, they’ll feel bad when they realise how badly it bombed.
If they get annoyed that you ignore them, or maliciously try to provoke a reaction by pushing it more, they don’t respect you, and they are no friend of yours.
I personally don’t see anything wrong with your age difference. Don’t know why it would come up as a problem with anyone else.
I had this exact thing happen to me. If it’s friends doing it, be honest with them about how you feel.
If it’s random people, tell them to screw off in a mostly polite way. Your relationship is none of their business, age difference or no.
My wife is six years older than me. We got together when I was 27 and she was 33. We got lots of jokes like that, but those jokes became more and more infrequent the longer we were together. I’m 40 now and at this age, nobody even blinks at a 6 year difference.
Honestly, those things are mean and I wouldn’t bother coming up with comebacks, and just tell whoever this is saying this crap to f-off.
Haters are gonna hate.
Also, it’s only a 5 year difference. That’s pretty common for marriages. If you two end up staying together, every decade that goes by, the age difference is going to look less and less.
It’s also probably sexist, because I bet nobody would make these comments if it were reversed, and you were 23 and he was 28.
I dated someone a few years younger than me before and my routine favorite response to idiots who called me old was usually “That’s rich coming from you.”
It hits both ways that they are a hypocrite unless you meet the rare couple that is the same age and if you do I usually said something like “You’ll understand when you’re older kiddo.”
Just show them you’re displeased by their comments and don’t find them funny and quickly change the subject. Don’t adopt any of these corny one-liners
Honestly if you are going to date someone younger you can’t be so sensitive to this stuff. People are people and will say shit and if you have a good relationship you need to have thicker skin and need to let it go. It’s the price of dating someone younger and you need to roll with the punches and not take it serious
I’m 8 years older, I used to say, yes I’m old, but I’m immature, to jokey comments, lol. After 18 years no-one says anything. We look much the same age and it is a non-issue now. But it is pretty rude for anyone to make personal comments. I would generally stare them down and say “seriously?” And watch them squirm in the ensuing silence as they realised how inappropriate they were being.
You chose your fate bro lol. Jokes are never gonna stop gotta have thick skin