I’m a female(30) and met a guy(39) who kept texting me non-stop showering me in compliments and asking to hang out . He texted good morning every day for a month, would respond right away, overall seemed genuine and reliable. We had a lot in common since we are in the same line of work and are both freshly divorced. Nothing happened on the first date so he kept texting and asking to hang out again. By the time I agreed to the second date I had already started to develop feelings but played it cool not to freak him out. The second date was fun for me(can’t speak for him) but we laughed and talked and I felt like it was okay to have sex. I usually don’t rush into sex but it felt different with him. It honestly never occurred to me that he was just trying to “hit it and quit it”. Usually I’m good at picking up the red flags. It’s been a few days and he hasn’t texted me once. I feel like shit and I just don’t understand how I could of let myself get played.
I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM THE MEN OUT THERE: what makes you guys do this? And at what point in the dating process do you decide you will do this?
6 comments
In this particular situation, I would say the freshly divorced played a big role in it. When I was freshly divorced I wasn’t looking to get back into a serious relationship right away. However, if asked what I was looking for; I wouldn’t hide that fact. Did you guys have that discussion?
Did you text or call him?
Very attractive guys have lots of options so don’t have to invest in a single partner in order to get laid. It is a reproductive strategy to hit it and quit it and the most attractive guys can get away with it whereas for average or below average looking people they normally have to invest in commitment from a woman before they get access to sex.
In future I would recommend you look out for very attractive guys who are lovebombing you, promising commitment too fast and are too pushy. these are people who are likely dating around and unwilling to give you what you want
If you don’t want to experience this again, try being long term, genuine, platonic friends with them to know that they enjoy you as a true friend before going to the next level.
Once you respect yourself to get to know what kind of person they are (& I mean months and years) and see if they are seeking something serious then this will stop happening.
Sex on the first few dates only mean they are just only hitting it and quitting it.
Thanks everyone for the advice. 👍🏻
So since I’m freshly divorced too I made it obvious that I was not looking for a serious relationship either, but I was expecting that we’d keep seeing each other casually.
And no, my pride won’t allow me to text him first, since he was the one texting first all this time.
Yeah watch out for guys who love bomb it just happened to me. It’s rough because there are so many people out there who are into the hookup culture and always thinking there is greener grass elsewhere.