She did it while she went to a concert in Chicago ( we live in central Illinois) while I was working. It was a couple months ago and I’m just now finding out due to multiple of her friends telling me. She admitted to everything but sex, everyone tells me they had sex. It hurts very badly because I work full time and do everything I can for her and her child, his father isn’t around much. I don’t have kids of my own. I’ve always been faithful. She has threatened suicide from me saying I will leave her. But she admits to the cheating. It all hurts so bad. I love this kid mostly, think the world of him. Taught him how to swing a baseball bat and just have bonded a lot. Well any advice would be very helpful. Also doesn’t help we live together.
33 comments
Despite what another commenter claimed, not all women cheat. Go and find one worth your time. I’m sorry you’ll lose your bond with the little one, but her threatening suicide is a control tactic, and nothing more. Throw that girl away, you’re a good guy, and deserve better.
The fact that there was threatened suicide makes it a more toxic relationship and would most likely not work out even if you stayed so I’d say my best advice is to break up with her and have to let go of the bond with the kid
threatening suicide is emotional blackmail. Leave and if she threatens it again call the police, get a physch hold and tell them the circumstances and that you are happy to watch the child while she is assessed.
She cheated after you have given her everything, thats not respect.
You’re a fool if you stay in this, get rid of them. Good luck
Her friends seem better people than her if they’re willing to tell you the truth but she’s not. It’s not a healthy relationship anymore and now she will likely do it again. And threatening suicide is a manipulative technique. Best to move on. Maybe try to maintain some level of relationship with the child, but it would be foolish to maintain a relationship with her.
Leave her. Or ask if you can fuck someone? Perhaps her mate? She’s mugging you with this suicide bollocks
I really don’t understand selfish people like this. She has a partner who is good to your child, a home, a life. And then threw it away for a random fuck with a stranger. That’s how much she cares about you. Now she’s crying cos she actually realise what she’s gonna lose. And what her child is also losing. Let her cry. She can face the consequences of what she did. Maybe explain to the child that you can’t be around him anymore. Also get an STD test asap.
Given the chance, she will cheat again. Time to move on.
Friends usually cover up for each other when one cheats. If her friends told you that means they know you are in trouble and should get away asap. She will keep cheating over and over and that will hurt the boy as you will never be able to make a family with a cheater. I think you should leave her. You desefve better. You can still be involved in the boy’s life without being involved in her’s romanticly. Threatening to kill herself is not grown woman with a child behavior. Either she’s mentally ill or a narcissistic manipulator ( that’s probably it since she’s also a cheater and her friends are trying to protect you from her)
I’m really sorry man, there’s nothing worse than that sick feeling in your throat when you’ve been hurt by somebody.
Threatening suicide is a real low from her to top it off though, she’s deflecting what she did to make YOU feel guilty.
I would seriously consider whether this is somebody you want a long term future with. I know I wouldn’t. Imagine what divorce/custody battles would be like with somebody who acts like this.
If she commits suicide then it ain’t your fault cause u have every right to leave at any time for any reason. As for the kid i think it would be better if u call cps if she’s abusive. If not then I’m sorry but I think u should forget abi the kid , ik it’s not what u want to hear but u have to protect yourself op.
Run
I hope you’ve taken steps to not be stuck with child supports when you leave her. Yes, you’re not the bio father but in certain areas, you’re it for support if you “fit certain criteria”. As far as the suicide threats, she’s manipulating you because you’re her provider and she doesn’t want the free meals to end. Move on and find a person that doesn’t use you for supports while having sex freely with people that’s not you when you’re not around.
Dude you are an ATM and she told you because she knew you would find out from her friends.
The suicide is a manipulation tactic.Call the non emergency hotline.
Get you Affaires in order and cut the cancer before it spreads.
You will have to leave the kid behind.You have no legal rights and she will drag you to the ground with her.
Also,alert your family when you reach a decision in case she blows up in social media when you dump her.
I’ve been cheated on and wanted to forgive and give it another try cause she seemed to regret it so much. We continued for another year and after that we split and she fucked like 6-7 other guys. Also she turned it around so that I was the bad guy after we ended it the second time, but she only needed freedom.
Long story short, it is not worth it, have priorities and do not accept bullshit, lack of respect, no matter how much you care. It will ruin you in the long run.
I needed to try it on my own skin, maybe so will you, no one will judge you for this, it is your choice, but from my experience, the sooner you walk away the sooner you heal.
Pack your bagd, call 911 because of her threats about suicide and see how she will NOT really kill herself, and walk away
You seem like a good guy and she doesn’t appreciate what are you doing to her and her kid , she doesn’t deserve you and you should leave her but I feel sorry for the little kid.
She knew how much this family needed you. She knew how much you needed them. She didn’t care bro and in the end you need both people caring to make something work. Wishing the best to you op.
That’s the time you know about. There’s been more she got away with. Leave, kick her out… Whatever. Just don’t stay.
You were in love with an illusion btw. It was never real. You made a mistake in dating her. Move on.
If you give someone everything, treat them well, support them and their child and they still cheat on you, that’s just cruel and she has no respect for you or your relationship.
Threatening suicide is a form of control and emotional blackmail.
She clearly did have sex with this guy. Why would the friends lie? It seems they have more respect for you than she does.
Leave her and don’t look back, you deserve more.
First of all, I’m so sorry that you are stuck in this situation, man. You seem like a genuinely nice person; being there for the kid, working hard, and faithful. I agree with others here, she doesnt deserve a good man like you. Her telling you she would kill herself is definitely a blackmail. Depending on the state, you should get a recording of this conversation – and any other to that effect – just in case the sh*t hits the fan.
Anyway best of luck to you man.
She’s only threatening you because she doesn’t want to lose her meal ticket. As much as it hurts, don’t try to rug sweep this.
Anyone that threatens suicide to make you stay is not a person in pain. They are manipulative! Wow!!
For me, I have dealt with a partner like this who caused me great pain. My biggest regret? Trying to make it work. Wasting years of this wonderful life.
I’m out now so I know. Please learn from me.
You gotta get outta there. If she threatens to harm herself again call the police and get proof of her emotionally blackmailing you. That is not right and she needs help/understand that her actions have consequences
Runaway, you dodged a bullet.
I’m so sorry for you, but please leave her.
Listen, you’re being held hostage with the threat of suicide, simply not fair.
What you, and ONLY you, can and need to figure out is this – what are YOUR boundaries on cheating, kissing/touching/licking/fucking another person.
Only then will you have your answer on what to do.
FYI – never stay together for the kids. They’ll see through it.
Get statements from her friends plus any other proof
Go through her phone if you can
(This is probably not the first time fyi)
Also get st’s tested & change all passwords (including internet)
You need to give her an ultimatum to get out even if you have to go find the place and physically move them yourself.
Get clear of her.
Not sure if you be able to maintain any relationship with the child, depends how old he is and if she will let you or just try to manipulate you with access to him (likely).
Sucks – I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Just wanna say how much I appreciate all this amazing advice from complete strangers. This is the first time I’ve made a Reddit post. You guys have helped me see I need to run away and not look back. Thank you everybody. Happy 4th of July
I think breaking up is usually the right move when someone cheats but I usually temper my advice somewhat. In this case it’s just a flat out break up. She cheated and is emotionally blackmailing you. Leave.
Bro she has a child and cheated on you. Bail.
Dude, I’m sorry, that really sucks. Just wondering, if roles were reversed and you cheated on her, would she have the same attitude about it? That would be a difficult and devastating thing to deal with. You need to decide what you’re going to do, and then do it. Idk, when I broke off an engagement years ago, fiancee threatened to kill himself if I broke it off. It was his way of trying to control me and guilt me into staying with him. If you decide to do what you’re gonna do, then that’s on you and you alone. You are not responsible for what the other person does.