Basically I’ve (22M) been seeing this girl (19F) lately. We had a couple classes together at college but never really talked until lately.
We ultimately started talking and really had a connection. So far we’ve been on 5 dates, all of which have been amazing. The only thing is… we had our 5th date the other day, which I thought was the best yet. We vibed more on this date than any of the previous ones.
But since that date it’s like she has completely lost interest in me. Which is fine it happens but it’s really weird and sudden considering how into me she was before that one date.
It seems like something happened that night that made her realize that she didn’t want to pursue things further. And I thought it was the best date we had so I’m wracking my brain trying to figure out what could’ve happened.
I see that she’s been active on snap which we use to talk a lot but only replies like “lol” or “yeah”.
I’m not dumb and I assume she’s simply talking to someone else and probably only agreed to our last date to make sure she wanted to switch her efforts to him.
I really put a lot of effort into developing a connection with this person and I can’t help but be upset and confused. She really is a wonderful person and it sucks that she clearly has no interest in even communicating any further.
Is this a common thing? I just wish I knew why
4 comments
Aw man OP, that sucks big time, sorry. I wish you that next time you are on 5 dates with someone you will end up so happy you’ll want to thank this woman who dumped you.
If she doesn’t properly respond to your messages then go do your own thing and see if she comes around. I wouldn’t ask, nor ask her out, just mirror the effort she’s putting in while the ball is in her court.
I’d put money on she’s interested in someone else..
People try to keep you in reserve in case the new interest doesn’t work out they can fill their own void with you until someone else comes along..
Try not to think about it, don’t ask her for an explanation, get back out there you’re far more likely to meet someone on a rebound than after months of being single..
>The only thing is… we had our 5th date the other day, which I thought was the best yet. We vibed more on this date than any of the previous ones.
Just because you feel one way about a person doesn’t mean they feel the same way. I’ve had this happen so much to me. I go on a date or a few dates with someone, and I’m friendly and interested because I’m giving him a chance, but not sure. And when I tell him I don’t think I’m interested enough to keep dating, he says “That’s not possible! These dates were so amazing (for HIM) there’s no way you’re not interested!”
She’s not being rude and acting dismissive and uninterested during the date. That doesn’t mean she’s committing to more dates.
But the way to handle it is to say “Hey, it seems like you have kind of lost interest in talking to me. Would you like to move on, or is there something else going on?”
It doesn’t matter why. If you knew why, you might not believe the reason, or you might not agree with it. Someone can lose interest for any reason. The best thing you can do is 1. find out if that’s going on (right now you’re making a lot of assumptions) and 2. accept it, don’t take it personally, and move on.
Best thing would probably be to stop contacting her ALL TOGETHER. No texting, no calling, no social media validation (likes, shares, etc.). Nothing. Zero.
She either 1. will miss your attention and your presence and contact you or 2. continue whatever she’s doing with, yes you’ve already got it figured out, another option.
You might never find out the reason this way, but the reason most likely is what you and me both would guess. If that’s not the reason, she’ll probably come around eventually.