so I learned this year to really be myself to say whats on my mind and not try to change my personality or anything, i love my personality. But, there is one thing that I just can’t do is approaching people, when I think about it i get scared for some reason. Like its easier to talk to random people who are in the same lecture or class, but like on campus or in an event or the street its fricking terrifying. But usually when i approach someone, its not really that bad, its not bad as i think its going to go. But still even though like people say its not that bad, i get scared its kinda embarrasing.
so idk do u guys have some tips on how i can overcome this?
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Bro me too, i can talk to to people in class and stuff but when i have to approach new people i start to overthink even though i know i can talk easily with them, i dont know why that is, i guess im scared of rejection or being seen as intrusive
If I’m in the vicinity of people in public, and I want to test the waters to engage them, I’ll drop a random comment about the surroundings. Loud enough so it seems directed generally at the public, but not so loud that it’s obnoxious or seems aimed at them specifically. I say this comment in a VERY friendly welcoming manner, some super simple examples depending on situation:
“Sure is HOT out here!”
“Wow, it’s super crowded today.”
“That wind REALLY kicked up.”
“This is the slowest line EVER.”
“That’s a crazy looking car!”
“If I knew there’d be this many bugs I woulda brought a fly swatter. Or bug spray.”
“I hope the RAIN holds off!”
“They sound so GREAT live!”
etc. In other words, nothing special, nothing unusual, nothing brilliant. They key is to make a statement pertaining to the surroundings, and say it SUPER FRIENDLY and accessible.
The reactions will vary, some people will make eye contact and smile. Some people will respond to what you’ve said, and then you can continue from there. Others may glance at you and glance away — they may not want to engage.
You’ve tossed out a friendly statement for people to latch onto IF THEY WANT TO.
The key is to use a VERY friendly tone of voice when you do it.
That’s how I strike up conversations with the general public. This will also work in class and other situations too.
The reason I don’t ask a question is that is more intrusive, and sort of demands that the person either respond to you, ignore you, or be rude to you. So I don’t want to create that kind of situation off the bat. Instead I lob up these friendly statements and see who bites.
Good luck!
Generally people don’t usually talk to random people on the street, that’s not normal, what conversation is there to even be had in such a context? There isn’t, the reason it’s easier in class/lectures is because that’s actually a natural organic setting to talk to someone in.