Formatting bad/mobile
info – My husband (38M) and I (27F) will have been together 9 years next month. We have a fairly good bedroom life, it’s had it’s ups and downs of *new and exciting experiences* and *it’s feeling too routine*
Outside of the bedroom, we are pretty good communicators about our intimacy. We openly talk about preferences, dislikes, fantasies, experiences and everything in between. For some reason, we’ve never been openly talkative *during* sex.
My husband and I were speaking casually one day about our bedroom life, he mentioned to me that he wanted to try being more vocal (in the moment) and would actually be excited if I could be as well. He elaborated a little further about his particular request being what I’ll call ‘ejaculation encouragement’.
It caught me off guard a little bit lol. Apart from a few vocal signals and moans during sex, I’ve never really idk just *talked* let alone sexy/dirty talk. I am interested to try it out, I honestly just don’t *know* how.
I think I am afraid of sounding like an idiot or saying something off colored.. or cringe. My husband has never made me feel judged by him in any way, especially during intimacy, so I don’t know where these feelings are coming from exactly.
While I’m sure confidence is key in my situation, I wanted to see if anyone had any extra advice or some pointers to pass on to this awkward duck.
5 comments
My other half and I are the same way. She’s really not all that good at dirty talk without direction from me. We’ve been a great team though and I guide her most of the time…but… I’m way more kink than her and it’s still a bit of a struggle for her even though I’ve pretty much written down bullet points for reminders of what to do or say.
It’s definitely still a struggle but it’s a complete 360 from how it use to be.
I would suggest you both sit down and write out some thoughts of what you guys want to see and or do in bed to spice it up.(even the sitting down to do this will most likely be fun and get the juices flowing) The reason I say you should both sit down and write is because you yourself should be getting some wanted fun in return to his wanted fun.
Honestly it just comes down to talking to your partner and figuring things out but it sounds like you guys already communicate well.
You can always watch some porn together to get ideas.
I am usually the one who is dominant in my relationship, so when my partner takes the lead and seems very…primal? It is a big turn on.
Since you mention “ejaculation encouragement” – maybe things like…”I’m going to ride you until I drain those balls” or something like that.
or if you wanted to be sweeter, maybe “Cum for me” or just tell him how or where to cum.
Tell him how he makes you feel, the sensations you are experiencing. That helps too.
I don’t usually recommend getting ideas from porn, but there is a whole section for “Jerk Off Encouragement” which is basically for guys to get off to just dirty talk.
“I want your cum” or “give me that cum” are easy ones that will turn him on and will always sound good in the moment
don’t try to plan it out so much, just relax and speak your thoughts out loud! Praising/giving direction when things feel good or not is a win win!