i just started a new job that just opened so everyone is new. most of my coworkers are nice but they dont really try to talk to me. i try to talk to them but i dont get the same effort reciprocated back. they’ll talk amongst eachother and it makes me feel lonely. i wish they saw my effort and tried to do the same. do they not like me? are they genuinely uninterested? am i boring? am i socially awkward? i dont know. i kinda like my job but feeling lonely makes me rlly upset
2 comments
I dealt with this at a job so I started bringing in treats on Mondays. I’d send out an email saying to the team I worked with that I baked or bought one thing or another and people were free to stop by my desk, say hello, and grab something. It got to the point I became known as the “treats girl” on the first floor and even my boss would stop by for his ‘Monday treat.’ Given we’re dealing with the pandemic, I’d say buy bags of individually wrapped candies or treats. And it’s first come, first serve so don’t worry about having enough for everyone. Hershey kisses are a crowd favorite.
I love Shybookworm’s idea, so consider that. Also take a look at the ‘vibe’ you’re putting out. If no one is trying to talk to you, there’s something in your aura that is preventing that. Do you have RBF (Resting Bored, or RestingAngry Face?). If so, try using a ‘hint of a smile’ so people will feel welcome to approach you.
Is your voice monotone, or is it warm and friendly? Think how news announcers put a warm energy into their voice, or think C3PO the robot from Star Wars. There should be a warm emotional energy to your tone.
Be curious, but don’t go over the top to excessively personal questions. Follow the person’s lead on that. If they seem interested in talking about families/interests/activities, then feel free to follow up and ask further. If the answer is more curt or less excited, then change topics or offer something of your own.
Enthusiasm and interest in others. Those two things to start. Plus I LOVE the idea of bringing in snacks on occasion. Bagels! Doughnuts! A veggie tray! Fruit!
Good luck.