okay so i’m in a fairly new relationship with my boyfriend (20m). it’s been about seven months. we both have recently graduated from college and during this time, my best friend dropped me as a friend. it’s been extremely hard on me and he has been nothing but loving and supportive. however, i feel like i’ve been clinging onto him too much now. his friends have become mine in the past couple of months but now i feel like they are the only people i talk to alongside him. sometimes, i get sad. i don’t want my only friends to be his. i’ve asked him before if i’m clingy and he says i can be at times but it’s nothing negative and he honestly likes it because he feels wanted and loved. but every time i feel clingy, i get anxious and sad and i distance myself. i have recently started to go to therapy and i’m thinking about bringing this up but i am confused on what to do. i want to make my own friends, maybe get closer to some friends i have now but i’m not that close with, but i always feel myself talking to his friends more. maybe it’s because we all play games together and they’re much more active and i feel more myself and comfortable. but also i don’t think it’s healthy to only have my bf’s friends as mine. i also don’t find it healthy how i avoid and leave when i get sad about things. this is super all over the place but i don’t know what to do. i’m just sad.
3 comments
Your clinginess is not a bad thing and it makes sense. You’re going through a stressful time in life, you lost a friend and are moving from school. Remember what you did as a kid when times were tough? Chances are some of those times you went to someone you could trust and clung to them. There’s nothing wrong with that as a kid, and nothing wrong with it as an adult, unless you stay that way. Give yourself some time to process your stress. Going to therapy is a great idea, you should definitely bring up your feelings with them. Your boyfriend understands you’re going through a hard time and is here for you.
I don’t really see a problem with sharing your social circle with your partner.
are you in school? do you have a job? id start there: find someone and start with the conpliments. i like finding out people’s music taste. people love to talk about thenselves, especially things they’re good at, and try to just ask them questions about their lives. i had a lot of success making friends in my college’s improv troupe. such silly gals and we always have so much fun!