I read this [thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/y03m6v/raskwomenover30_and_raskmenover30_are_much/) on AskWomenOver30. I even read the archived version that showed the comments the mods removed. Interesting, a lot of insights. A lot of opinions that never occurred to me. It got locked, so I thought it would be interesting to restart that conversation here.

The two comments I found most interesting in that thread went something like this

1. AskWomenOver30 topics are dominated by relationship posts, AskMenOver30 topics are dominated by career questions, and both subs are filled with people suffering greatly from loneliness.

2. People wrote that they value having AskWomenOver30, but they found it too triggering or too depressing to read the complaints there all of the time.

15 comments

  1. It’s very funny actually. If I ask a relationship question on this sub, I get flagged and sent to a relationship sub. But on askwomen t’s 90 percent about their relationships with men LOL.

  2. AskMenOver30, AskWomenOver30, AskMen, and AskWomen always get conflated in these conversations.

    Four subreddits with similar names, created by different people, moderated by different people, and there for different reasons.

    Eons ago I enjoyed /r/AskMen ( my posts are currently automatically filtered there and they will not tell me why. I guess I talk too much ) a lot, but the teenagers started invading. /u/ripster55 and I talked about how nice it would be have just the more mature people so he and I created this sub and he went on to also create AskWomenOver30.

  3. >AskMenOver30 topics are dominated by career questions

    I’ve found that amusing and educational. AskMenOver30 was never set up for that and for years after I took over the sub I never saw those questions. When those posts started coming in I always asked myself why the fuck they were being posted here with so many other subreddits set up for those type of questions. Then I started getting unsolicited messages in between the nasty notes all moderators get thanking me for allowing those threads. People told me they enjoyed and benefited from those threads.

    It taught me that when something unexpected shows up that I shouldn’t automatically dismiss it and that I should take a look to see if it is a good thing that I didn’t plan on.

  5. I like that this sub filters relationship questions, because honestly they have nothing really to do with age (except for some rare cases) and almost always turn into downright sh!tshows (I do wish I could use at least some *casual* expletives on this sub though… Gosh how many of my elaborate comments have been auto-removed because I had the audacity to let my verbal diarrhea take control).

    Edit: Just noticed that /u/PM_ME_UR_INSIGHTS used the f-word in his reply… Mod abuse? Or changed rules? :-O

  6. I’ve noticed a lot of people on this sub ask questions about their job. And I’m sitting here thinking “I only have a job to get a paycheque, I don’t care beyond that”

  7. It makes me sad that this sub has so many versions of the same story: delayed or disrupted education, feeling uninspired, disconnected. Feeling unwanted and unsupported. Occasionally, OPs are actually much more successful than they give themselves credit for, but still feel like something is missing. No solvable problems, just a few vague options and laments.

    I do wish there were more weirdly specific questions and more unique conundrums besides the ones we get at AMO30, and I love to see them. But guys are hurting. Often in the exact same way. Even if nobody else cares, we should.

  8. Aren’t relationship questions banned in this sub? I’ll feel like it’s 35% career questions, 35 help me I’m lost in life posts and 30% whatever posts.

  9. >both subs are filled with people suffering greatly from loneliness.

    It isn’t just Reddit or the Internet. I see headlines all of the time about a loneliness epidemic and how that even damages physical health. On a planet of 8 billion people.

    It reminds me of “water water everywhere, but not a drop to drink”.

    What is the brine in that ocean of 8 billion people keeping people pathalogically lonely?

  10. Are there subreddits that deal with neither relationships or careers?

    Happily married stay at home dad here, lol.

  11. I found it amusing and quite revealing about what the genders worry about more. I’m subbed to both and enjoy reading both.

    And yeah, loneliness is a huge problem right now. There have been lots of studies on it over the last decade or so. It’s fueling some of our social problems, and the pandemic made it even worse.

  13. I just saw the thread “what should men stfu about” on askwomenover30, I can’t imagine the opposite would be as popular here

  14. The difference goes way beyond than just topic. AskWomenOver30 hates men and lol I just told myself that I’d find a post that obviously proves this in 5 sec, here it is:

    * Titled “What should men stfu about?” ([https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/y16uuk/what_should_men_stfu_about/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/y16uuk/what_should_men_stfu_about/))

    I haven’t seen 1 post here that degrades women directly or poke fun at half of the human race. But that’s Reddit for you.

    Note: obviously not every person in AskWomenOver30 hates men, but one should go read it for yourselves and try commenting, I dare you.

  15. Oh man, I never went over there until now and the top three posts are about crappy men. I don’t blame then, man can suck big time, but it certainly has a different feel.

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